THE OLIO. water. Beauty is outvied-flattery is abashed-power regulated-Hagar's wish is realized, and Virgil's spirit invites in exclaiming, O, leave the noisy town. O come and see Our country cots, and live content with me! As pastorals are more designed for couples and families, so other modes of enjoyment are derivable from the imitative plan of swarms of bees-to live in colonies become interested in the affairs of towsmen, and engage with each other as citizens of the world and rulers of the empire. Hence armies, quarrels, battles, bloodshed, death :-fire, famine and slaughter, like ghosts, or the fabled phoenix issuing out of the ashes of the PASTOR. injured and lamented. LUNATIC LAYS. 'Adieu my Moustachios! farewell to my Tip.' ! Adieu my moustachios farewell to my tip The trowsers compress'd to exhibit the limb! Adieu my moustachios! farewell to my tip! world charmingly She thought my head foreign, and unlike the skull Of the money-bag, mercantile fellow, John But now she will call me" contemptible rip!" -Ah! would he had seen me before I was shaved! And as I kiss'd hands, I'm afraid I let slip, And nourish'd by gravy-soup-sauces of fish Which remains on the skin I scrub daily-in + Fire and water were interdicted from those condemned to exile or banishment, by the laws of Roman punishments. lip Adieu my moustachios! farewell to my tip! The line on my lip, and the dot on my chin, Adieu my moustachios! farewell to my tip! THE BLUE-BOTTLE. (For the Olio) Whiz! whiz! buzz! buzz! buzz!confound that blue-bottle! there he is again at my ear buzzing and humming with most gratuitous vehemence. Reader, hast thou ever been annoyed by one of these impudent insects, while devouring a new novel, or penning an epistle to those you love best? These "varmint" live but to annoy our species, and yet who but a cook or a butcher's boy would abridge their short and merry life? There he is again, bouncing against the window panes, now whisking round the room, and then out and among the woodbine at my study window. Sometimes he alights upon my book-rubs his legs over his head, cuts a caper and off again. Your house flies are the very canaille of insects strong, impudent and intrusive; and your blue-bottle is a bully of the first order. Behold his large full eye, which rolls with a leer of conceit and self-satisfaction. Then his "nether man," or pehind, as the Germans say when they speak a little English, cased in a covering of a hue brighter than the most exquisite plush or velveteen. Who so smart as the blue-bottle. At breakfast he makes his appearance, and pries into every thing. First he descends into the sugar basin-then surveys and tastes the butter-revels in the fragrant vapour of the coffee, which, however, the beat dares him to touch. Incensed at this, he thrusts his besugared snout into my muffin; and, after glutting himself with a thousand other delicacies, flies off and dances a saraband on the window pane. This poor insect has many enemies. First, the swallows and martens, who, attracted by his inviting hum, snap at him as he flies along, and remorselessly crush his body with their hard beaks ere they swallow him. Then there is the cook, who impudently calls him the "blow-fly," and vows vengeance against his clan for depositing their larvæ amongst the choice morsels of her larder. The butcher's boy, too, unlike Sterne's negro girl, armed with his terrific flap, literally annihilates him in the midst of his delights. Yet the blue-bottle has 66 a merry life o'nt," and seldom dies a lingering death-an end more terrible than all others-unless his wings should have suffered from some disaster. Behold him amongst a troop of house flies! How he capers and buzzes, as if to shew his strength to the male members of the coterie, and his agility and grace to the females. Now he bounces and pirouettes to the imminent danger of his brother insects, who at length, disgusted with his vanity, set upon him, and hunt him out of their society. He flies off with a buzz of indignation, and in his blind rage entangles himself in the net of the spider, whose cunning work, the toil of hours, he demolishes in a moment, and frightens the tyrant himself. At first the spider thinks his victim is already within his clutch, and he rushes out to batten on its devoted carcass, but retires precipitately when he discovers this Vandal insect kicking and plunging in his beautiful trellis work. Talk of a bull in a china shop, indeed! the most apt illustration of complete destruction would be a bluebottle in the newly constructed webb of a spider. Yet, like all debauchees, the bluebottle pays the penalty in his old age of the excesses of his youth. His eyes become dim; his once shining coat loses its firmness and elasticity, and looks shrivelled and wizzened. He flies into the flame of the candle and singes his wings, until at last he cuts a most pitiable figure; when some humane creature-perhaps the cat-" puts him out of his misery!" Such is the life and death of the blue"merrie insecte,' bottle!-Farewell, enjoy thyself while thou mayest, for winter and its chilling blasts will banish both thee and thy revels for ever! ALPHA. THE POSTHUMOUS LETTERS OF HUGH DELMORE, ESQ. LETTER VI. THE MUTINY. For the O io. variety of vicissitude and danger, as if to exhibit in the strongest light the madness and the folly of my early excesses; at the same time, to be a punishment and a lesson for the future. We had made but a But to proceed. poor exchange in our new mate (Bingham) for the unfortunate Harris. The latter, bating his rough manners, and fatal propensity, was every inch" a seaman; the other, an idle, useless, and noisy pretender. His incompetency very soon became so apparent, and his utter indifference to his duty so flagrant, that Captain Green (as I have previously hinted) deprived him of his command, substituting Amber in his stead. Still, with a degree of consideration rather unusual in him, the captain tacitly permitted him to occupy his cabin and seat at the cuddy table: but I suppose the silent civility which every one observed towards him, became distasteful, or perhaps he felt the merited reproach it conveyed; certainly, after a day or two, he withdrew himself entirely therefrom, and sought society among the seamen forward,-lounging idly on the forecastle, smoking, or in watching the labours of his more active shipmates, the fellow now passed his time; unheeded, except by an occasional random observation from the captain, expressive of his disgust or contempt. Meanwhile, whether from a spirit of revenge, or the mere instinct of mischief, he was busily employed in sowing the seeds of discontent and mutiny among the seamen. It is true, the trials of the people were not a few. The weather, at this season of the year, is uniformly gloomy and tempestuous, accompanied by a troubled sea, and almost incessant rain, while the sun appears entirely to have withdrawn his inspiring presence, or struggles through the misty vapours that surround him with a sad, subdued, and wavering radiance. Added to this, the ship was leaky, the wind directly in our teeth, and blowing, as it constantly did, half a gale, what little way we made on one tack, we lost on the other; so that, varying the scene from the " stormy Cape," to the "blue seas of Ind," the destiny of the "Flying Dutchman" appeared likely to find a rival in-not the Flying," for speed certainly was not among the few good qualities of our 66 barky," -he old Reliance, of Calcutta. With these ruther disagreeable concomitants, there is little wonder that IT would seem that my first voyage our people became, at first, dispirited, was destined to be marked with every nex! dissatisfied, and, last of all, openly murmured at the obstinacy of their commander in keeping at sea. Still the duty of the ship was, in some measure, performed, though the fostering germs of the mischief were fast growing to a head. The captain had long detected the condition of the men's minds; but he preserved a profound silence thereon, and a stern determination to proceed, at all hazards, on his perilous voyage. One gloomy night, as our labouring and suffering ship struggled against the adverse wind and sea, under close reefed topsails, he as usual pursued his short careless walk across the break of the poop, now and then glancing upon the binnacle, or watching the gathering of the frequent squalls which in their bursting, cast a deeper gloom over the gloomy face of the elements. Pausing in his walk, he threw his eyes aloft upon the shaking topsails, and then addressing the man at the wheel, he angrily exclaimed, "What's the fellow about?-d'ye want to throw the ship aback? Mind your course you're three points away now. It chanced that this worthy had, somehow, secured to himself an extra portion of grog, and thus primed with Dutch courage, in addition to his own discontent, he surlily replied, "How the h-1 can a man keep her head one way, with the wind shifting every minute, and the sea striking her off?" The fellow had trod upon a mine. Green turned quickly round, and shouting, in a voice of thunder, "Silence!" struck him so violent a blow with the back of his hand in the breast, that it laid him sprawling upon the deck. The man sprang upon his feet, and grasping his clasp knife, ran at the captain, doubtlessly with the intention of inflicting a deadly wound; but Terrasso, a Portuguese, (whom we had shipped in Calcutta, and now acted as second mate), perceiving the movement, threw himself, with an apostrophe to his favourite saint, between him and the seaman; and, lifting his hand to ward off the blow, the knife cut it slightly down the palm and in the fleshy part of his arm. These incidents were but the work of a minute, yet this sufficed to bring together a number of the seamen, and they stood clustered by the starboard gangway, with menacing looks, yet each one hesitating to be the first to venture on the quarter-deck to take his shipmate's part. But the captain himself put an end to their in decision, by shouting to the boatswain, to "turn the hands up." Silently, sullenly, and promptly all gathered on the quarter-deck. There Green addressed them, with an odd mixture of calmness, irony, and anger. He briefly observed that he had long noticed their discontent-that he felt for their fatigues and privations, but he had a duty to perform, and perform it he would at all hazards. "For this fellow," said he, pointing to the man who had occasioned the stir, "I take it he must be drunk, or he had never presumed so far. Boatswain, clap him in irons-a few hours to his own thoughts will be of benefit to him. Now go forward, men," he pursued, waving his hand; "recollect what I have said, and, be sure, I'll stand or fall by it!"" He had been listened to in silence, but as he turned away, two or three, more resolute than the rest, murmured, "And we're all to go to h-1 to please him."-" I wish the crazy old hooker had been at the bottom of Pharaoh's sea before I saw her :"-with divers similar exclamations, and a few of a more threatening nature. Captain Green turned quickly about. "Who complains?-who has ought to say?-let them come forward like men, not sneakingly growl behind a man's back what they dare not utter to his face." His cold grey eye ran over the group, with a searching regard; but all were now silently stealing forward. Our Some sort of eclaircissment having thus taken place, matters gradually came to an issue; and an event, in which my unlucky self was intimately concerned, brought about the denouement. salt provisions chanced to be none of the best, and two or three successive casks had proved worse than bad-they were vile seemingly the remains of some unfortunate bullocks, who had been cut off by a rapid and thorough consumption. The poor tars grumbled and swore; and after puzzling their heads for an explanation of so untoward an event, ingeniously agreed among themselves that I (the purser) had been entrusted with an adequate sum to victual the ship with wholesome provisions, in the lieu of which I had honestly pocketted half the cash, and with the remainder provided them with viands fit only for the dog kennel. My position, too, with the captain, the close and friendly intimacy that now existed between us, was woefully tortured to my disfavour. Even among those with whom I had formerly been so popular, -my shipmates in the wrecked Gly- As I was not quite so formidable a personage as the skipper, I very soon heard of this strange accusation, and in no measured terms. The ship's steward had complained to me of the unpleasantness and difficulty he nightly experienced in serving out the provisions to the people; and requested that I would endeavour to satisfy them. I knew I might as well have bid the obstinate monsoon be still, and give place to more favouring gales, and with as much effect, as to attempt to appease and satisfy with words some fifty or sixty hungry, exasperated, and all but exhausted men -English seamen, too, the most untractable and unreasonable of all God's creatures; but the next evening I accompanied him to the scene of action. Twelve or fifteen seamen had already surrounded the harnessed casks, awaiting the coming of the steward; among them a young fellow we had shipped at Calcutta, who by the flippant and ready exercise of a variety of cramp phrases, imperturbable impudence, and a certain swaggering off-hand demeanour, had acquired not a little influence among the people-he was, in fact, the "orator Hunt" of our band of sea-malcontents and would-be reformers. This important personage, seeing me coming along the main-deck with the steward, put on a face of mock-respect, and with a bustling air bid his fellows stand back -"Here's the pusser," said he, screwing up his features with a demure air; "he's just finished his wine, and now he's going to see you taken care of, ye vile varmint." A laugh followed this sally, which, of course I did not hear. But the bone, or rather bones, of contention, very speedily set the steward and his customers by the ears; and I interfered, demanding the occasion of the dispute. "The occasion," echoed an athletic seaman, holding forth to my view a piece of beef, or rather a collection of bones, held together by a lean and un wholesome looking covering of lean and grisly fat," look at that-that's the occasion;" here he introduced a curse which consigned my eyes to the lowest depths of perdition; "is such carrin as that fit for Christins and hard-working men?" "It is very bad," said I, mildly, "but there is no better in the ship: immediately we reach the Cape I will take care that you shall have good and wholesome meat." "When we reach the Cupe!" shouted the fellow with rising choler," and when will that be?-somewhere about the day of judgment, I guess. Here we 've been knocking about in this cursed bay near upon five weeks already, and are as far on our way as when we started." Another took up the cudgels: it was a rascally shame to keep men at sea in a crazy old hulk, when the best ship that ever came off the stocks could do nothing against such weather. "And to be starved, or eat that which an English dog would turn up his nose at," chimed in a third. "But what can I do?" I appealed; "the captain is the only master here." "Ay, sneered the first speaker, "and a rare servant he has got in you -to pocket his money, and feed his poor sailors on this ;" and again he held up the skinny piece of beef immediately before my eyes. Somewhat alarmed, I demanded his meaning. "That you're a d-n pitiful rascal," rejoined the fellow, who had worked himself into a decided passion; "and if you had what you deserved, we should pitch you overboard." As he spoke, he thrust the meat, reeking with brine, full in my face, and, half-blinded with the salt moisture, I staggered back a pace or two under the bow of the long-boat. My steady friend Amber had noticed the altercation from the poop, and he rushed forward to the spot, where the excited people were now busily engaged in throwing the meat overboard from the harnessed cask with loud shouts of triumph, and execrations upon the heads, hearts, and eyes of their officers, in which, (be certain, dear B I was not forgotten.Grasping the throat of Hughes with a violence, the continuation of which must have been certain strangulation; this spirited fellow demanded, in accents broken into disjointed exclamations by vehemence and passion - "Rascal, dog! how dare you insult Mr. Delmore?" and casting the fellow from him, he fell with violence on his back. But the storm had now burst forth too furiously to be easily allayed, and several shouted, "Are we to be used like dogs and brutes!-overboard with them!" and poor Amber and I had the next moment been "food for the fishes," THE OLIO. but for the timely arrival of the cap- Green continued in a louder key, "Do To be continued. • I do not know whether my poor friend here meant to perpetrate a pun; but an air of gloomy levity appears to me to pervade the whole of this narrative, strangely inconsistent with its character. J. H. B. THE BABINGTONS. In all this we have seen how he was He entered the cell,-a tall man in complete armour, a reason for which he gave in the unsettled state of the country, and, as he unhelmed, his sharp but not unhandsome visage, with aquiline nose, and small black eye, were disclosed by the mingled fire and lamplight. His whole features, however, were discomposed, forming a portentous contrast to the suppressed tone (almost sinking into a hiss,) with which he greeted the brothers, and requested some insight into the strange circumstances he had just witnessed. Sir Oliver looked dubiously at him, as if he knew not whether at once to proceed to some desperate act, or to reject the suspicions the priest had infused into him; but Paul, with an inimitable mixture of simplicity and effrontery, after quieting the angry growls of Thunder and Countess, replied, "Ha! then thou knewest not, Sir Governor, to their full limit, the unhappy suspicions to which we loyal Lancastrians"-(he laid strong emphasis on the word)" are exposed, otherwise thou mightest haply have deemed that even thy close disguise would scarce have made the broad meadows and woods of merry England so safe as the towered ramparts and rolling seas of Calais." Vaucler's eyes glittered as though they would have scorched the priest's very soul; but the steady glance that encountered his, made him quail, and Paul continued, "Yet may Lancastrians well rejoice at the tidings that the young Princess Dowager of Wales hath fled the court, even though their houses are invaded from hall to bower by the emissaries of the suspicious Edward." |