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week, but the other was reserved the fire, but literally burnt to a cinder till the following Sunday, when W- for want of turning.
G. L.F. trudged off to visit one of his tenants who lived about a mile from the town.
EPIGRAM He arrived just as the honest couple THE BEGGAR, THE COOK, AND THE IDIOT. were about to proceed to church, and Led by the savoury fumes that steamed around, besought them to prepare for dinner An eating shop a needy Beggar found; the duck which he had brought with Long did his nose with opening valves inhale him. His request could not be refused; When Master Cook, indignant to behold
The rich luxuriance of the spicy galethe duck was prepared for the spit, A dinner made, and yet no viands sold, placed before the fire, and left in charge Exclaimed, "Good Šir, thy reckoning prithee of their son, a lad of twelve. W
To this the sturdy beggar answered, “ Nay." said he would accompany them to Blows follow words. At length a fool passed church, but previously pulled from his
by; pocket a bottle of wine, which he placed And both agreed that he the cause should try.
The new made Judge then made the Man of on a table, bidding the boy not touch it,
Rags, for it was poison.
Bring forth two half-pence from his leather Away they went, and the duck was
bags. left dangling before the fire. In a short The shaken pence a jingling murmur made
Betwixt two emply plates the pence he laid lime it began to hiss and blister, and when thus the arbiter pronounced aloud assume a lovely brown hue, emitiing a
This weighty sentence to the listening crowd, most delicious odour, most grateful and
“On smell alone his meal the Beggar made
“With sound alone the Cook is amply paid." tempting to the urchin, in whose charge
Fraser's Mag. it was left. He “ sighed and looked and looked again;' then touched it with his thumb and finger, which he THE POSTHUMOUS LETTERS OF afterwards licked with the grimace of a
HUGH DELMORE, ESQ. gourmand. The flavour was delicious,
LETTER III. he fingered it again and again, and then
(For the Olio) procured a knife, with which he detached a piece of the breast, and eagerly [The restoration of Delmore to health ate it.
Another slice was taken, and and active habits appears to have been repeated. By this time the poor biped very rapid. Meanwhile, his mind was cut a most contemptible figure, for wholly occupied with his India voyage, although the gaps in the breast had I omit much that he had written on been browned over, they were not this subject, as well as the adjustment filled up. The boy when too late, per- of his legacy with his guardian's execeived ihe horrible mutilation which he cutors. Again he appears to have made had inflicted on his charge, and trem- abortive attempts to see his cousin, Miss bled when he thought on the return of Ashton; and his mind, at the period of his parents. What was to be done ?- his departure from London, was, in In the midst of his deliberations he saw consequence, more embittered against his father and mother with old W- his uncle. He forms, through the inreturning, Despair seized him: he terest principally of Mr. flew to the door-bolted it, and grasp- gagement with a Captain Green, of the ing the bottle, drew the cork, and swal- Glyceria, of 700 tons burden, and joins lowed half its contents, resolving to end that ship as clerk at Gravesend, prehis days at once, rather than encounter vious to her departure for Calcutta. his enraged parents. His situation was Captain G.'s character is not sketched at once ludicrous and painful. The in the most engaging colours ; but, strength of the wine and the dread of making allowance for Delmore's state punishment, had their full effect upon of mind, as well as his habits of unconhin-he rolled on the ground in a fran- trolled freedom of thought and speech, tic manner, never doubting that he had the Captain was evidently, though posswallowed a deadly poison, and replied sessed of great personal courage, and to the entreaties of those without by the skill and determination so essengroans of distress. At length the fa- tial to his situation and profession, an ther got in at the window, and with the insolent, tyrannical, and overbearing aid of a horse-whip, brought the urchin despot to those beneath him. J. H. B.) to his senses; he then opened the door to his visitor, who saw with dismay the The captain was not on board ; and broken bottle on the floor, the boy in scarcely had the vessel been underone corner, crying piteously, and the weigh a quarter of an hour, than it unfortunate duck still dangling before becoming necessary to tack) the chief
mate, a sea ruffian of the old school, Captain's joining the ship. Peculiaç seeing me standing stupidly on the courtesy was never a characteristic of quarter deck, saluted me with a broad this man, and immediately his eyes fell oath, and bid me pull off“ my shore upon me, an angry frown darkened his going rigging, and turn to."
features. After dinner he called me Now his jargon was “Ebrew Greek” to him on the poop. to me, and I looked, I dare say, more “Young man," said he, we appear silly than ever, which the fellow no- to misunderstand each other-I did ticing, continued, “D-, is the man not mean that you should mess at my mad there, lay hold of that mizen table ;” and he dwelt emphatically on top-sail brace; a pound from you is the pronouns, pausing as if for my as good as a pound from a better man." reply. Astonishment and mortified The portion of this elegant speech I pride sealed my lips, and he proceeded, did not comprehend, was explained by “You will mess with the steward, he'll a grinning, tarry-faced, and bare-foot- take care you shall be comfortableed urchin, who held out to me a portion and harkee, Mr. Harris complains to of a rope, at which himself, and two me of your refusing to lend a hand or three others of like inviting appear- about the ship--we must have no idlers ance, were tugging.
here." Indignant at the unworthy office thus I had now recovered my speech, and assigned to me, I haughtily replied, “I indignantly exclaimed, “I certainly did not comefthere to be his servant.” refused at his bidding to pull a rope
Harris (that was his name) laughed with three or four dirty boys; I did aloud at my unnautical phraseology, not imagine that was to constitute a but checking himself, and bending on part of my duty.” me a savage scowl, he said, “And A sneer of savage contempt curled what d'ye think you did come here for, the lip of Captain Green, and he said bye?-to sit on your rump, and in his usual cold stern tone, Well, let the wind blow ye along ?-but stay well, we'll not dispute about that at a bit till the skipper comes aboard, present-don't let me see you in the he'll bring ye to your bearings, my cuddy again;" and he pursued his fine fellow." And irritated that his walk across the break of the poop. I authority should be disregarded by a wailed till his return, and then resuraw landsman, he again scowled ma- med the subject. liciously upon me, and squirting a “I shall not herd with your serhuge mass of chocolate saliva from his vants, Captain Green,” said 1, proudly, closed teeth, turned upon his heel. “I am not accustomed to such society."
I did not like this specimen of sea “You should have thought of that manners, but I comforted myself with before you joined the Glyceria, as it is the hope that Captain Green would, you must submit to necessity, nothing on his joining the ship, put things on will be required of you that is unreatheir proper footing; and in a few sonable." hours, aided by a brisk and favouring “To judge from what I have already breeze, the Glyceria came to anchor in seen, ,” said I, completely excited, “I the Downs.
should rather question that you mean I was certainly very green in the that I shall mess in the steerage during ways of the world, or I should never the voyage.” have thought of the ridiculous step I "Most certainly." had adopted. After twenty-four years " Then, sir," said I, “I shall not of age, after moving in the sphere of proceed to sea in the ship; I have no life I had done, to enter on toard a occasion, nor will I submit to such a free trader in the ambiguous situation degradation.” of Captain's clerk, where the superior He looked on me with surprise, and officers were remarkable only for their a peculiar and ominous smile gleamed vulgarity, insolence, and poverty,- across his features. oh! I must have been blinder than mad “You will not proceed to sea in the ness itself. In the Downs the Captain ship,” said he slowly, and in a jeering joined the ship; but, detained by con tone, “and what explanation will you trary winds, we laid nearly three days make to your friends for this notable at anchor unable to proceed to sea. proceeding ?" There were a considerable number of “ That is my business," said I, passengers on board, and at the dinner warmly; "there is a Deal boat now hour I sat myself down at the cuddy alongside ; her crew will, I dare say, table, as I had done previous to the put me ashore."
I was proceeding down the poop as I appeared, “ what, skulking al. ladder, with the intention of getting up ready?
for shame ; come, come, make my chest, when he called after me in a yourself smart : clap your weight upon voice of thunder, Our conversation those top-sail haliyards, and the yard had hitherto been carried on in so low will fly up like smoke." a tone as to attract little or no atten I would readily have lent a hand, tion, but this loud and angry exclama- but the tone of mockery in which he tion drew all eyes upon us. He mo- spoke, and the laugh it raised at my tioned me to follow him into his cabin. expense galled me to the quick, and I
“I know not what induced me to take walked away forward. He called after such a useless lubber into my ship- me, but a violent squall, accompanied I suppose,” said he, sneeringly, “ you by a change of wind, which almost thought you had only to come on board laid the ship aback, just then drew all and enjoy yourself; I tell you what, his attention, and for this time, lescaped young man, I am not much used to further persecution. argufy with my servants--but go ashore, As is usually the case with ships at if you like."
the commencement of long voyages, we It happened, however, that Captain had been in much confusion, but now Green had indispensable need of a things getting a little in their places, I person of my description; besides, I began to hope that I should find better suspect there were motives I was not sleeping accommodation than I had hiaware of, that would have rendered it therto met with. I accordingly stated impolitic in him to allow me to depart. my grievanees to the chief mate, telling He, however, as a last resource, put on him that I had swong my cot for several a big look and exclaimed
nights with the servants in the steerage. “D'ye threaten me in my own ship, He heard me with a grine sort of gra'tis well you hav'nt signed articles, or vity, and then asked me what I would damme, I'd give ye a taste of salt elí.” have him do? I suggested that he
“ This is nothing to the purpose," might provide me a more suitable said I, “ I therefore wish you good day, berth. and a pleasant voyage.”.
“Shall I turn the captain out of his “Then you are going," said he, half cabin ?" inquired he with a short laugh. increduously.
“ I did not want that,” said I, someI bowed in token of assent, but said what confounded. nothing.
“ You didn't, eh? then get away, and He muttered an oath or two, but pre- don't bother me-sleep in the main-top, gently added aloud, “Well, I dont see or the main-chains, if you like; or go that your messing with me will make to h-1, if it please ye better!” much difference," and quitted the cabin. A few days after we had been at sea,
Now I had seen quite enough in this Green pointed out to me the duties he short interview to convince me, that if required at my hands. There was noI did gain my point, my situation would thing particularly unreasonable in them, be the reverse of comfortable during but from the manner in which he conthe voyage. The captain was not a trived they should be discharged, my man to be thwarted with impunity, and office seemed little better than that of a I had penetration sufficient to gather menial. It was a portion of my duty to. from his significant scowl, as he went on see the ship's provisions served out, deck, that he would find an opportunity and a boy was assigned me for that purat sea to evince his recollection of what pose ; but after a day or two, he was had just past. I would, on this account, taken from me, under pretence that he have persevered in my intention of could not be spared. This is but a sogoing on shore, but I had no further litary instance of a series of unworthy grounds of complaint, or rather, I re- and mean persecutions: when, there. collected none at the moment, and was fore, both the captain and mate would obliged to submit to my fate. Shortly liave looked upon me with a more faafter daybreak on the following day, yourable eye, I haughtily turned my a favourable breeze springing up, the back upon them, for contempt was now Glyceria got under weigh, and proceed- added to the utter dislike I had coned down the Channel. As soon as the ceived for the pair. Captain came on deck, he immediately Meanwhile, I had become a great fa-. looked about for me, and finding I was vourite with the crew, from the predilecbelow, he dispatched the second mate tion I shewed for their calling; and they after me.
beheld with grim, though well-meant " Ah, messmate," cried he, as soon indignation (for Jack abhors tyranny),
the petty and vexatious conduct of Harris “A man overboard ! a man overboard !" lowards me. My society was sought by Mr.White (at the time in his cabin) ran them, and they took infinite pains to on deck, and, in the hurry of the moinitiate me into the more mechanicalment, exclaimed," Is it a man or a genpart of their profession. I was, indeed, tleman?” The seaman he addressed, a pleased with their romantic and adven- thorough soldier hater, thinking that ly turous calling. I had witnessed, as yet, this question he meant to convey that but fesy of those spirit-stirring scenes so had it been one of the crew only, it was familiar to the seaman, but from that a matter of trifling consequence, gruffly liule my mind had caught a decided replied, “ I suppose if it is only a sailor, bias, and I longed to dwell for ever he's of more sarvice nor a lubberly amid tempests and strife and contention. soldier.” Ever after poor Mr. White The aspect, too, of every thing around was hated by all hands, at least by me afforded ample new food for the in- those who dwelt before the main-mast; dulgence of my sullen and sickly fancies. and the occasion of crossing the Line The huge ship, her lofty masts and im- was the opportunity they took of wreakmense sails ; the crowds of busy men ing their revenge, for the imaginary inthat hurried to and fro on her spacious sult their dignity had received. decks, or clung aloft upon the dizzy The day“ big with the fate” of White yards; the broad expanse of“ eternal and the uninitiated at length arrived. waters,'' relieved by naught, save a like Neptune and Amphitrite, in solenın monotony of sky, were to me alternate state, attended by Tritons, the barber objects of wonder, admiration and awe. and his clerk, in dripping and fantastic In the still hour of midnight I would procession, ascended the ship's side, lean over the ship's side, watching the and proceeded aft to the quarter deck. moon's beams flickering in the dark and The list of the uninitiated was produced; fathomless sea ; or marking the long the bath, the razor (an iron barrel hoop line of snow-white foam she left behind deeply notched), and the lather (a mixher; and my heart beat with gloomy ture of grease, tar and ship's filth) preexultation, as I reflected that every pared; and, one by one, we were conleague bore me further and further on ducted blindfolded to the main deck.my self-imposed, and, as I hoped, term- Here, seated on a plank, placed crossless exile from my native land.
ways on a large wash-deck tub (still We sped on our voyage. We were blindfolded), by way of preliminary, within a few degrees of the equator, and the patient was saluted with a deluge the saturnalia invariably ohserved by of sea water from Neptune's myrmidons, the crews of East India ships was anti- who stood ready with buckets for that cipated, and discussed in the forecastle. purpose. The filthy lather was next From iny intercourse with its inınates, applied over the whole face, and fortuI became acquainted with their inten- nate was he whose hair and shiei escaped tions, and what victims were particular- a like defilement ; Neptune, all the tiine, ly marked out as the objects of the rather putting a variety of questions to the painful waggery of these eccentric sons shared, which did he open his mouth of Neptune. For many a poor uncon 10 answer) was a signal for the active scious wight did I tremble, as I heard latherer tó begrim lips and teeth with the whimsical, but unpleasant ordeal the nauseous contents of his brush. The he had to undergo; and for one of the razor was then brought into play, and, passengers, a young cadet, peculiarly lastly, the plank being slipped from un. disliked by the people, as well from his der the victim, he was plunged head foppish and effeminate manners, as from over heels into the tub, while those who an expression that once escaped him, stood by dashed buckets of water upon more, I believe, from the agitation of the him as he crawled, breathless and gaspmoment, than from any indifference he ing, from the scene of action, to znake entertained for their worthy, fraternity, room for the next. I was fairly alarined. The incident that Mr. White was the last that was procreated a feeling of hostility towards the duced. He had divested himself of his lad was this. It chanced, in the second clothes, excepting his shirt, trowsers, dog watch, that one of the crew was out and a silk handkerchief. Tirenly pails on the bowsprit doing some little job. of water were at once discharged on his The ship was lying nearly before the head. So sudden a salute made him wind with a faint breeze, the jib sheet gasp wechanically for breath ; and at swinging to and fro swept the poor fel- the same moment i he barber dashed his low into the sea. Immediately there brush, heavy with tar alone, into his was an alarm throughout the ship of open mouth. The poor fellow of course
spit, or rather endeavoured to do so, for when our departure was known. The the tar obstinately adhered to his teeth schooner was at anchor about four miles and gums, and another copious shower from the London Hotel, and, in pursuit descended upon him. His face, hair, of her, we did what people often do in and neck, were all besmeared with the dark,-lost our way; the noise of tar, and the skin in some places fairly divers workmen on our right directed torn away from his lips and cheeks, by us to the shore, and on the quay, where the vigorous strokes of the barber's jag- several ships were undergoing repairs, ged razor. In vain the poor fellow we disembarked ourselves and baggage, interceded for mercy; immediately he and turned the crew to bale the water opened his mouth, the brush, or a great out, the boat being a regular sieve. lump of filth, was dashed into il, till, at The fog clearing away suddenly, and length, he fainted, and the officers of the having caught sight of the schooner, we ship were obliged to interfere, and res- re-embarked, as we thought, all our eue him from his tormentors. The dis- goods and chaltels. The schooner was ciplive he had undergone confined him under-weigh when we got alongside, to his cabin for several days; and when and, in handing the luggage on board, he did appear on deck, he cut a most I missed my writing-case, in which case grotesque though pitiable figure: was all our earthly treasure-English patches of tar still clinging to his flesh, sovereigns, besides the journal, and his hair standing out from his head, money to no small amount ; this occamatted into thick, stiff tails, and his sioned a nota bena in the memorandumchin rough and raw froin the punish- book, which stands thus—"N. B. never ment he had suffered.
to have more money than we want."
“Gustaff,'' roared my companion,"d-n But a circumstance, singular enough, your Swedish honesty, there is lost the (for it was no less than the total wreck national honour, and our money:"of the ship in a tremendaus hurricane Gustaff, who was as calm as a cucumber, off the S.E. coast of Madagascar,) con- merely said, and with some point, too, tributed to dispel, in a great degree, the “if the workmen are not foreigners, the feelings of hostility I entertained to case is quite safe :" he returned with wards Captain Green; to form the basis my companion to commence the search. of mutual esteem and confidence, and The fog was still very thick, and the lay the foundation of a certain and ho- place not easily discernible, but, in nourable independence, but for my ac- rowing along shore, they heard a man cursed self-will.
H. D. calling out to every boat, “ Flave you
lost a writing case ?” and, on landing, RECOLLECTIONS OF SWEDEN.
received it back as it was left. My companion asked the man what he would have done with it, provided the owner
had not been found; “I should have The Swedes are proverbially honest, taken it, of course, to the police, as I and are the strangest contradiction to know there is a great deal of money in all received opinions. The Swedes are it from the weight and the noise of the drunkards, desperate drunkards, but coin,”-—which occurs to me to be the they are all honest ;--house-breakers, very reason which would have deprived pickpockets, highwaymen, thieves of all me of it in this country. So much for sorts, are exotics, and belong not to the Swedish honesty, which I believe to be soil. You may leave your purse in the unrivalled. open carriage all night, and the next
SWEDISH TRAVELLING. morning will find it untouched-you The curse of Swedish travelling is the may leave any thing but spirits, and million of gates which are found for the need be under no apprehensions for its exclusion of cattle froni one man's prosecurity. I shall give here a short perty to another's; this ceaseless ananecdote to confirm this statement, al- noyance is found from Helsingbourg to though it belongs not to this part of my Stockholm ; every mile or half mile a wanderings.
dead halt to open a gate, and thus the In spite of my resolutions, so cau- journey, which would otherwise be tiously entered in the journal, I embark- rapid, becomes a tedious lengthened ed on board a schooner at Stockliolm to route. Al the inns, or rather houses of proceed to Petersburgh. The morning call, the law requires the landlord to was unusually foggy, and at times the have bread and porter always ready, rain fell as plenteously from the clouds and, with these exceptions, the travelas the tears did from the ladies' eyes ler in vain asks for food ; they seem to
HONESTY OF THE SWEDES.