MILDWEED-By no means, Miss Bluestocking. What can equal these soul-stirring lines of M. I. H. P. Huggermugger?

"The cat went up a tree,

He squinted at the bee;
An artful lover, he!"

In fancy, I see that feline quadruped mounting the umbrageous tree, looking furtively at the droning bee, who flies from flower to flower. Oh, what a picture!"

HESTER But then in my opinion nothing can rival that stanza "To a Bug:

"Oh, darling bug,

Upon my rug,

Thee would I hug!"

What pathos! "hugging a bug!" Ah, I beg pardon, my dear Miss Arethusa! Miss Snivel! (They all shake hands and sit down.) Oh, what a shock my nerves have received! Who is that vulgar woman, dusting?

ARETHUSA-You speak with truth, Miss Bluestocking; she is not one of the élite. In fact, she works for pecuniary consideration.

MILDWEED-I thought so. She calls to my mind those unique lines of Jeremiah Jones, beginning

"A common flower,

Not born in a bower."

HESTER-The quotation is apt; I've wept over it many

times.

MISS SNIVEL-The tears of this world are many, the laughter is small. I've often been led to think that life has not that value which has been ascribed to it.

ARETHUSA-There are certainly many things that are not as we would wish them. I purchased a new muslin yesterday, and found to my dismay that there was a spot as large as the eye of a needle on the eleventh breadth.

HESTER And I, in the work of construing seven hun dred and sixty-nine lines of Homer, found it utterly im possible to find the meaning of a certain word. I was in despair.

MILDWEED-Still if our worthy friend, Miss Higgin

son

ARETHUSA (Aside)-If she leaves her property to me, as she is certain to do, I will eclipse all rivals at Mrs. Jimjam's party.

MISS SNIVEL (Aside)—If I get the money, I will have my handkerchiefs marked with black stripes five inches and a half broad.

(Knocking. AGATHA admits RAPHAEL ANGLEOO.) RAPHAEL-I've left my great picture of "The Soul in Despair, or The Blackberry Hollow," and come to pay my respects.

AGATHA (Aside)-His respects to the Will, perhaps. He might as well have stayed at home.

RAPHAEL--You offend my sense of vision, good woman. Would you be so kind as to remove yourself from my presence? You do not afford an attractive picture.

AGATHA-Attractive or not, I believe I shall stay and hear the Will.

RAPHAEL-Ah, ladies! ah, Mr. Buttermilk! we are here on a most sad errand.

MISS SNIVEL-Sad, indeed! You never said a truer word.

RAPHAEL-I picture Miss Higginson in her prime; I picture her when she sported among the heather; I picture her as a babe

AGATHA-You've got a very fertile mind, I think, sir. You must have been rather small in those days.

MILDWEED-The matter of fact element in that girl is distressing. How could Miss Higginson have endured her?

HESTER-HOW, indeed! But our friend was a rough diamond, she had peculiarities of manner.

AGATHA (Aside)-Ah, that she had! She despised every one of you, and rated you at just what you were worth.

RAPHAEL AS I was saying, I picture her as a child; I now picture her, I might say, in her grave.

MISS SNIVEL-Oh, and to think of the number of times she and I have made sage tea together! Once she gave it to Molly Parsons; I told her it would do no good. But our friend had a will of her own.

ARETHUSA-That she had. And yet I always loved it -even when she told me a vain chit and fond of

furbelows!"

I was 66

RAPHAEL-She has often reminded me of a picture I have seen, "Patience on a Broomstick."

touching.

It is very

AGATHA (Aside)-I should think it would be! MILDWEED-I have written a little poem about our friend. If you would like to hear it—ahem! ah!

HESTER-Oh, pray read it! I'm passionately fond of poetry; it is so ethereal.

MILDWEED-I have a bad cold, (clearing his throat,) a terrible cold!.

MISS SNIVEL-I recommend Shagbark Bitters; they cured Hannah Haines.

MILDWEED-Still, if you'd really like to hear it, I will read it. It has only one verse, but it is parvum in multo, which is Latin for "nothing in a great deal." (Reads affectedly :)

"Oh, Mistress Higginson, thy star is set,

We weep for thee, we weep, we weep;
I feel as one whose heart might break,
I soon shall tumble in a heap!"

HESTER-Oh, be-utiful! be-utiful!

Mr. Buttermilk,

(AGATHA laughs.)

you must send it to the Semi-weekly Peashooter.

MILDWEED-Woman, what mean you by this inane

laughter?

AGATHA-Oh, sir, I couldn't help it; it was so funny where you talked about falling in a heap.

RAPHAEL She has no feeling, no sensibilities. I saw the picture in a moment; I could paint it easily.

HESTER-Ah, Mr. Angleoo, she belongs to the lower order of civilization. As Hezekiah Softsoap justly observes, "some are born to plough, and some to sing, some to delve, and some to soar." It is for us to soar, to sing, like-perhaps I should be justified in saying, like the lark.

Enter LAWYER Gay.

LAWYER-Good morning, ladies and gentlemen, good morning; solemn duty, solemn duty. Suppose you've all come to hear the Will.

MISS SNIVEL This world is full of partings and tears. Yes, Lawyer Gay, we've come to hear the last Will and Testament of Mehitable Higginson.

[LAWYER sits down, takes out papers from a bag, puts on spectacles, wipes his forehead, etc.]

ARETHUSA-I must say, I feel uneasy; I really wish I'd been a little more polite to the old lady when she was alive. But she had no taste whatsoever; she wore blu and green indiscriminately.

MILDWEED-Ah, brothers and sisters, such a life as that woman led! When I recall the noble words she used to me at the beginning of the war, I am quite overcome. Said she, "You're a contemptible coward, Mildweed But. termilk, staying at home writing poetry, and letting other do the work." Ah, she was a noble creature!

RAPHAEL-When I remember what she said about my great picture," The Bandits of the Rocky Pass," my feelings are too much for me. Said she, "This is a mere daub, Raphael Angleoo, a miserable daub." Such a mind as that woman had!

HESTER-I think none of you appreciated it more than myself. I loved her as a sister, or I might say as a

mother.

[LAWYER GAY has meanwhile opened the Will and gone over it; he suddenly starts up.] LAWYER-Goodness gracious! What's this?

(All start from their chairs.) MISS SNIVEL-Oh, you've given me such a turn! What ie it? Tell me at once.

(ARETHUSA snatches the paper, reads, and shrieks.) ARETHUSA-Oh, the wretch! the stony-hearted sinner! Where is my fan; my smelling-bottle? She has left her whole property to that plebeian upstart, Agatha Martin. [AGATHA stares, looks confused, cries "You don't say!"

throws her apron over her head, and runs out.] HESTER-Oh, to think of it! She must have had a softening of the brain; and yet I wrote to her every day during her illness; what can it mean? I was preparing a short sketch of her life for the Pictorial Album, but—now -it-will-never-be-completed! (Runs out crying.)

RAPHAEL-And to think that I painted her likeness and called it Heroism! That it should come to this! "Oh, what a fall was there, my countrymen!" Life is a delusion; truth has departed; Raphael Angleoo's miserable career is over; he has gone, he has gone-where? Echo answers "Nowhere!" (He rushes out.)

ARETHUSA-Ah, I shan't get over this for a week! And I can't-buy-my-pink-tarletan-for Mrs. Jimjam's! (Exit crying.)