Imatges de pàgina
PDF
EPUB

We fhould be glad to know how Peter could have lived to give us his lucubrations had it not been for his eleemofynary friend, and the unexpected fhilling, which he has lugged in fo opportunely.

Peter's hiftory of his two uncles to whofe care he was left, the one of them an honeft cobler of eighty-two years of age, and the other a morofe fullen zealot, with an affectation of learning, which only amounted to a facility of murdering hard words, is rather carried too far, beyond the bounds of probability, and yet it contains fome laughable circumftances. The account of his own fentiments after he comes to a fortune is but too well founded in nature and experience, and, with all their imperfections, we cannot help recommending Peter's fentiments to the perufal of the thoughtles, rather than the unfeeling (for they are too often irreclaimable) members of high life.

V. Poems, confifting of Tales, Fables, Epigrams, &c. &c. By Nobody. 12mo. Pr. 35. Robinson and Roberts.

THIS

HIS Mr. Nobody appears to be fo pleasant and facetious a fellow that we cannot avoid granting the request contained in his motto.

[ocr errors]

Procul efte feveri.

Keep your distance, fellows, and I'll speak with you.

Having been fome months paft out of town, fays he, I called, to-day at Mr. Elzivir's, to know if my Poems were printed off:-He told me they were, and that he now waited for the dedication; afking me at the fame time, who I defigned that honour for?" Dedication!" fays I-" Why, fuppofe the dedication was to run thus"-" To Every Body, thofe luminaries of learning, thofe patrons of genius, thofe candid readers, thofe moft judicious critics, &c. &c. &c-the following farrago is dedicated by the humbleft of their admirers, Nobody."-"Oh, dear Sir," fays Elzivir, “that will never do the quibble is ftale: you might as well dedicate it to your own individual felf, (Nobody) as to Every Body: befides that fneer upon Every Body wou'd fet Every Body a fneering at you;-Confider, Sir, your very name is a bait for farcaftical quibbles--But what think you of chufing Paoli for your patron: he's a glorious fubject for panegyric, and his name at the beginning of your book wou'd help the fale greatly, efpecially if you were to have his portrait by way of frontif piece done by an eminent hand :"-" Neither will that do," faid I," Had it been an epic poem indeed, and the hero of VOL. XXIX. Feb. 1770.

Ι

it

[ocr errors]
[ocr errors]

it fuch another as himself, I don't know how far my vanity might have fpurred me; but fhou'd I dedicate fuch a trifle. like this to him, the world wou'd be apt to think I was bribed by fome great man, or other to throw an affront on him,""I believe you are right," replies Elzivir," and now I think again, I fear the poor gentleman ftands more in need to be patronized than to patronize :-Suppofe then," added he, you dedicate it to the Reviewers." That," fays I, "wou'd be vastly impolitic, for as I am a stranger to them, and intend to remain fo, a hundred to one but in return for my compliments they'd fall foul of me, as a proof of their impartiality. No, no, hang it, I'll have no dedication at all.""You must have a preface, however," cries Elzivir :-" That to me," fays 1, "feems as needlefs as the other: what can I fay in a preface?-but that The following poems (or small talk in rhyme, if you pleafe) were written at different times and upon different occafions, and not originally defigned for the prefs that they are now fent into the world in a loofe unconnected manner :" " (for by the bye, Mafter Elzivir, you have been rather careless in that refpect, as you know that part of the affair was entrusted to you)" That avocations of a different nature prevented the author's giving them a revifal, (too much wanting, he fears): that the oleo, fuch as it is, is now offered to the public with a hearty welcome; and that Mr. Cook begs his guests wou'd fall to, and eat heartily, or at leaft pick a bit here and there, as the dish is made up of various ingredients, and none of them over large, or hard of digeftion, he hopes:'-"I can fay nothing but such stuff as this; no, no, publish it directly, and let the brat take its chance."" My dear Sir," replied Elzivir," a new book without preface or dedication is as imperfect as a new play without a prologue: how can you think of thrufting yourself on the public without a by your leave, or with your leave :or what wou'd you think, for example, of a ftranger burfting into our club-room, and feating himself at the table without a precurfor to announce his approach, or fome one of the club to announce him?"-I ftill perfifted in my refolutions of no preface, not knowing, in fhort, what to fay upon the occafion, when Mrs. Elzivir, who, I must own, has more fenfe than either her good-man or myself, declared it her opinion, that a preface would be neceffary, if it only anfwered the purpofe of adding three or four pages to the book; that it availed but little what was faid in it, and that if her advice might be taken, the dialogue that had juft paffed between Mr. Elzivir and me wou'd antwer the purpofe as well as any thing.

• As

As I always pay an uncommon deference to Mrs. Elzivir's opinion, I immediately took her advice, and have, as near as I can recollect, verbatim, and without any additional flourishes, fcribbled down what was faid upon the occafion, which the reader is intreated to look upon as a preface; the common intention of fuch precurfors (as my letter'd friend terms 'em) being generally to add a fomething to the fize of the book.'

From this fpecimen of the author's humour in profe, the readers will be naturally led to expect entertainment when he prances in Hudibraftic verfe, which is the kind he most frequently makes ufe of. There is fuch variety in his fubjects, that the mufe is not always uniformly gay, but where the is not lively, the is feldom tedious. We fhall prefent our readers with the following elegiac poem, as aggrandizing a trifling incident.

The LAMENTATION of a MOUSE in a TRAP.

I.

Unhappy maid! within this wiry cave,

Death's certain fummons doom'd, alas to wait! Shall curft Grimalkin's guts prove Muzzy's grave? So young!-In pleasure's spring to meet my fate?

II..

Thofe jet-bead eyes, that fir'd beholders' hearts,
This velvet fkin, finall ears, and needle claws?
Thofe whifkers, (often ftil'd love's keeneit darts)
Muft they be crush'd within a murderer's jaws ?
III.

Was it for this, with daintieft morfels fed,
From the fcoop'd cheefe, or bacon's tasteful fide,
Mamma with tenderness her Muzzy bred,

Clasp'd me, and call'd me ftill her little pride?

IV.

Oft wou'd fhe cry-" My dear, my beft-lov'd care,
"Touch not your prey, 'till well the place you scan;
Grimalkin!-Of that monster, oh beware!—
And that more favage two-legg'd monfter, man."

V.

I, wretched I-unheedful of her love,
My duty's forfeit, now untimely pay;
Be warn'd by me, nor thus rebellious prove,
Ye mice but ah!-your parent's lore obey.

[blocks in formation]

VI.

• To poor papa had this fad hour been giv❜n,
How wou'd the fight his tender bofom wound!
But poor papa-(such the high will of Heav'n !)
Laft April-day was in a cream-bowl drown'd.
VII.

• Where now thofe gay coquettish breezes ?—where ?
That erft so many youthful hearts have won ?
In fwarms to Muzzy's hole wont to repair,

And swear her beauties far outfhone the fun.

VIII.

< They call'd me goddefs :-faid, "my frown or fmile
Cou'd fave or doom to death the nibbling breed ;"
Ye mortal goddeffes of Albion's ifle,

Oh! think-ev'n goddess Muzzy's doom'd to bleed.
IX.

And muft I die? No more Squeekero's ftrain
(Squeekero! lovelieft youth of youthful mice!)
Shall flattering homage pay ;-in hopes to gain
That heart, whofe worth he fwore was paft all price.

X.

• His lengthen'd tail!-but, ah, that tail no more, Nor hero's form again fhall blefs my fight;

His wit, which fet the table on a roar,

Poor Muzzy's foul fhall ne'er again delight.

XI.

How oft, Squeekero, have you vow'd-" No pow'r
On earth, from your embrace fhou'd Muzzy tear;"

Let not Grimalkin's fpiked jaws devour,

But from this horrid cave your Muzzy bear.

XII.

Methinks the fell devourer I efpy,

With eyes like fiery funs that flash forth dread;
And tail like threat'ning comet rais'd on high,
And giant paw, prepar'd to ftrike me dead.
XIII.

No parent, lover, friend, at that fad hour,
On lightning's wings to fly with vengeful aid!
And can ye-can ye let the fiend devour

Ah me!-your darling-your poor little maid?

XIV.

Squeekero!-Parents! Friends!-like lightning fly, Bring armies-quick-tear, rend this hated jail: No parent, lover, friend-alas is nigh

Nor cou'd whole armies in this cafe avail.

• Ah

XV.

Ah no! Squekero! Parents! Come not near,

Left your fond heart should break to fee me thus: To your wife precepts had I lent an ear,

Poor Muzzy had not fall'n a prey to pufs.

XVI.

The bait, which but a few short minutes past,
So tempting,-now how hateful to mine eyes!
Repentance oft attends a liquorifh taste ;
From Muzzy's fate learn, maidens, to be wise.
XVII.

[ocr errors]

A certain judgment (fuch Heav'n's wife decree)
Attends the wretch who not a parent hears:
But hark-the dreadful latch is rais'd-and fee-
Have mercy, Heav'n!-a two-legg'd fiend appears."

XVIII.

She faid-and, trembling, fweeps the wires ;-when, lo! Murd'rous Grimalkin, darting baleful fires, Enters the room :-All nature feels the blow;

Poor Muzzy fqueeks,—and with a nip expires.'

There are many more poems of the humorous kind in this collection.-Mafter Nobody is faid to be a very droll Somebody that figures on one of the Theatres-Royal in the North of England.

VI. The New Brighthelmstone Directory: or, Sketches in Miniature of the British Shore. 8vo. Pr. 15. 6d. Durham. THESE fketches are formed upon the model of the Nezu

Bath Guide, and wrote in the hendecafyllable measure. The author informs us that they were intended only for the amufement of a friend, for which we very readily give him credit, and join with him in opinion where he fays, That the only reputation I expect to acquire by this publication, is, that of that of a faithful hiftorian; and yet I am afraid it will be loft in a few years. Some of the facts I relate will, perhaps, appear to our virtuous grand-daughters, fo void of probability, that my whole correfpondence runs a rifk of being deemed fictitious. They will not, among other things, be able to conceive, that any of the circumftances of the promiscuous. bathing of the gentlemen and ladies were true; or elfe, (I have this chance of fupport to my veracity) they will imagine, that the mere narration of those circumftances has been fufficient to banish the custom from a Christian country.'

« AnteriorContinua »