and at our next meeting, compare, and house, the first produce of our heavy harvest.

Tes. With all my heart; and the more so, as our pursuit may be carried on (to use the words of those rascals the quack doctors, who by this very bait, by the bye, have tickled me out of a good constitution) "without loss of time, or hindrance of business;" for we have only to drudge on in our common course, with our minds, and our eyes open, as, we walk or ride along, and the main business will take care of itself.

Sen. Well, then, Mr. Testy, only one thing more: as the "lucidus ordo" is confessedly of essential advantage, in every investigation, allow me to suggest what appears to me the properest method of proceeding; viz. that at every subsequent interview, from this time till we have completed our undertaking, we should bring forward some one general head of wretchedness, for separate discussion; producing, respectively, such items of anguish, only as may be reducible to that specific class of "miseries." We are, now, unfortunately for us both-and yet where should we have been more fortunate?-We are now, I say, in the Country ;-be the country, then, the scene of our first pilgrimage; and let Rural Tortures, if you see no objection, have the pre-eminence at our next unhappy meeting.

Tes. They shall, Sir, they shall; and no fear of missing them, I'll engage; for my own part, I have some pestilent affairs upon my hands, that will bury me in the country a long time; and, I doubt not,

"miseries" of all sorts and sizes will turn up as plentifully as the dust, or mire, under my feet.

And so having now pretty well settled all our preliminaries...........I was going to say, farewell;--but that would have been, in some sort, 66 against the canon laws of our foundation," you know.

Sen. Alas, it would and on the same cruel account, I will sink the insulting ceremony of wishing you a good morning. Let me rather say,

"Go; count thy way with sighs-I mine with GROANS." Shak.

Tes. Aye, it may pass well enough as a quotation; otherwise, by rights, you should have taken the sighs, and given me the groans. And so, your humble servant. (Goes and returns.) Ho! Sensitive! Sensitive-You know my addled head :-one thing I forgot;-if we are to meet upon this new scheme of ours, there is a third person who must positively be of the party; or else, we must be "off by consent." You must know that I have just called away my lubberly boy Ned from Eton, at an hour's notice, though he had but another month to stay, as it was. For what do you think?-Old Busby, there, (I forget the fellow's right name-the head pedagogue, however-) has thought proper to tell me that my boy is half mad! though, for all I can see, the whole offence is that he is a little wild, or so, in his way of reading; and, by running from one book to another, and dashing from this part of the volume to that, has stuffed his

head with more words than he knows well how to manage; and so, by dint of a good memory, without quite brains enough to ballast it, he flirts out his crude scraps of authors upon all occasions, without stopping to think where he is, or who are his hearers. Sen. A singular propensity, it must be owned.

Yes-but singularity is not madness, I hope, or I should be in the same scrape, myself; for, as to his quoting fits, he drew them from me, I believe; I have had them upon me, off and on, ever since I was thus high; and Ned, the impudent dog, dares to tell me that he brings in his Parallels, as he calls them, as much to the purpose as I do. Be this as it may, I wink at his cacoethes quotandi ;-but, to cure him of a few other wild tricks which I don't like quite so well, I shall finish off his education myself; and have this very morning, taken an oath, that I won't trust him out of my sight, a single moment, for three years to come. So, you see, if you can put up with Ned's company, and odd ways, why, I shall be very ready to meet you, that's all-what say you?

Sen. O pray, be under no anxiety about me, Mr. Testy; the company of a son of yours, Sir, cannot possibly distress me; and, with respect to his turn for quotation, it may serve to beguile our attention, occasionally, from the detail of our sorrows. Besides, I am at certain times, by no means, uninfected with the mania, myself. With my best respects to Mr. Edward Testy, then, your most obedient.

DIALOGUE THE SECOND,

Hinc exaudiri Gemitus."-Virg

MISERIES OF THE COUNTRY.

TESTY, SENIOR AND JUNIOR.—SENSITIVE.

Sensitive.

WELL, Mr. Testy; here I am, punctual as a lover to our wretched assignation, and little doubting that you have found the country quite as fertile in felicities as I have :-what, my dear Sir, is the result of your rambles?

Tes. What?Why,that I shall, henceforth, leave to Mrs. C. Smith, the whole honour and pleasure of trying "Rambles farther:"-" O rus! quando te aspiciam ?" indeed!-Why, never again while I live, and that won't be a great while, I guess, if I continue to rusticate much longer,notwithstanding the "toughness of my texture, "upon which you were once pleased to compliment me. And, pray what have you done? or rather what have you suffered ?-though, in truth, "miserable, doing, or suffering," seems to be our standing motto.

Sen. My melancholy memoranda will but too fully answer your question; for, in pursuance of our plan,

I have, in every instance, faithfully committed to paper the passing perplexity of the moment.

Tes. And I.Come, then!let us at once produce our memorabilia, and proceed to exchange their contents? Give me leave to begin.

Sen. Willingly, Sir; and the more so, as I shall thereby enjoy (enjoy!) a momentary respite from the lashes of memory.

Tes.(hastily running over his papers.) Thank you, thank you ;-aye, here they are, biting, and stinging, wherever I set my finger!-Well, well! no matter➡ to business. I begin, I see, with some of the delights of walking in the country:-what say you, then, to

GROAN 1. (TESTY.)

The sole of the shoe torn down in walking, and obliging you to lift your foot, and limp along like a pig in a string :-no knife in your pocket, nor house within reach !

2. (T.)

The boot continually taking in gravel; while, for a time, you try to calm your feelings by believing it to be only hard dirt, and vainly hope that it will presently relieve you by pulverizing.

3. (T.)

Suddenly rousing yourself from the ennui of a solitary walk by striking your toe (with a corn at the end of it) full and hard, against the sharp corner of a fixed flint :-pumps.

Ned. Tes. Nay, father, such a kick as that would pay you for the pain by driving out the corn:

"c segetem ab radicibus imis

Expulsam erueret,"