nolated themselves to further the advance of science. Guyon, of Marseilles, dissected and examined the body of a person who had died of the plague, for the purpose of ascertaining the nature of the disease; he purchased success with his life. Á late French philosopher stifled himself with the fumes of charcoal, to learn the effect upon the human system, and the eye of Mr. Jedediah Eversearch was pricked out by a needle, as it was applied to the key-hole of a buttery door, to discover the number of pies that had been baked for the New Year's Saturnalia. The house-maid heard his breathings at the aperture, and imagined he was listening to her culinary consultations with a fellow-servant. She stabbed at the ear, but extinguished the left eye of Jedediah for ever. with a pair of green spectacles, to conceal the deformity in his visage, and returned to the charge with redoubled fury. It seemed as if his thirst for seeing every thing, and every body, had increased with the loss of the left window of his brain. No hole or corner of the house escaped him. He was as well acquainted with every nook in the family mansion, as a rat with its hole. This acquaintance once attained, might be supposed to have satisfied the most curious inquirer But not so; Jedediah made his rounds as regularly each day, as do the gnomons of a town clock searching drawers, trunks, and bandboxes; crevices, corners, and loop-holes, and more than once has he been nipped in the garret by the snaptrap, which lay in waiting, with its scraggy jaws, for the rats that caprioled about His parents, after mourning a due sea- the attic of the old homestead in great son for the loss of the darkened optic, numbers. Upon one occasion, he crept consoled themselves with hoping that this into a large butt, wherein was deposited accident would put a period to the trou- the stock of potatoes, and was confined blesome inquisitiveness of their son. Fu- therein for four and twenty hours, by the tile anticipation! Jedediah was no sooner servant's closing the lid, (which he supable to resume his peripatetic occupations. posed had been left open by mistake,) than he adorned his nasal protuberance and securing it in the usual manner by a padlock Jedediah asserted upon his egression thence, that he merely wished to count the farinaceous vegetables, to ascertain how much time would elapse before their consumption. The amusements of this fated being were in strict conformity with his unhappy propensity. He usually took his station, at a very early hour, near the head of State-street, and watched for every gentleman who wore green spectacles. These persons he pursued indefatigably, until he could compass their acquaintance and discover the origin of the defect in their visual organs; probably hoping to find some one who had suffered in the same cause with himself. At last, he became a perfect pest to all persons in green glasses; and a very general dispersion of them might be seen on 'Change, whenever Jedediah's uncouth figure presented itself. Indeed, it is a well-attested fact, that several wearers of those "blessings for the aged," abandoned them entirely, and carried pocket telescopes, to avoid his unremitted persecutions. But all was in vain; for Jedediah continually pursued these afflicted people, requesting the loan of a spy-glass, to discern some distant object, which his single organ could not compass without the aid of it. One little man, in a dreadnought coat and cocked hat, with a mouth like a rent in an oyster-man's lantern, and a nose resembling a seed cucumber, could alone bid defiance to the tormentor; and he glared so fiercely upon Jedediah, over his spectacles, from a pair of carnation eyes, that all attempts upon his privacy were completely baffled by the pugnacity of his physiognomy. Jedediah Eversearch had attained the age of thirty, without entering into hymeneal blessedness. He had, it is true, been several times" engaged;" but his predilection for the contents of work-bags, indispensables, and other little articles pertaining to a lady's paraphernalia, proved an insuperable bar to an union. It is well known, that ladies' have an invincible objection to a curious man; consequently, poor Jedediah was thrown out of "Cupid's calendar," to make room for fragments of humanity, possessing a less ardent thirst for information. Repeated disappointments were severe blows to him, for he had a longing desire to become acquainted with the mysteries of the marriage state, but he bore the frustration of his hopes like a philosopher, returning after each successive dismissal, to his inquisitive researches with unabated eager ness. At last, however, he had the good fortune to encounter a lady, whose charms were rather "in the yellow leaf;" ana who, preferring even the prying Mr. Eversearch to a longer search, consented to become his bride. It required all the art of an accomplished spinster of forty, to parry the questions of her intended spouse, touching her age. He considered his character at stake on the result, and made use of all the stratagie of a veteran in the inquiry, becoming quite fierce at each successive repulse. satisfied him by pleading to thirty-five; Finally, she and the delighted Jedediah, at the age of thirty-two, was buckled to the fascinating Miss Belinda Bendthebow. woman! let me here pay a passing triAmiable bute to another victim of "fatal curiosity." "Thine was the smile, and thine the bloom, Where hope might fancy ripened charms." But thou art no more; yet the wilow and the wailing Eversearch nightly bend over thy resting place. As an impartial historian, I must allow that Jedediah was the "death of his wife." Like most ladies who have advanced in life previously to yielding to the gentle chains of Hymen, she had her "little peculiarities.' The unfortunate husband was for ever transgressing. He cut off the tail of her lap-dog, to discover if the component parts were bone or cartilage; plucked and singed her favourite parrot, to compare the skin and pin-feathers with those of a chicken; and finally, filled her snuff-box with ground coffee, to learn what might be its effects upon the nasal organs. These and many similar experiments, embittered the union of Jededian and Belinda, and she soon sunk under her troubles. The husband was quite disconsolate at her loss, and wondered what could have carried her off so soon. Mr. Eversearch is now thirty-eight years of age, and as industrious and pertinacious as in his youthful days. I perceived him a few weeks since dodging an elderly gentleman in Washington-street, who wore a pair of antique silver buckles upon the knees of his velvet breeches; these symbols of the olden time had attracted the falcon giance of Jedediah, who doubtless, had determined to ascertain their antiquity; and I left him in full chase after their owner, whose uncomfortable elongation of countenance too plainly betrayed his suspicion that his pursuer had a design upon him. Perhaps it may be a philanthropic act to describe the apparel of this person, that the community may not be alarmed at any demonstration he may make to wards their pockets; as he frequently endeavours to ascertain the name of a passenger who interests him, by abstracting the corner of a handkerchief from its resting-place, that he may obtain a glimpse of the mark upon its corner. His hat is of a very dubious and suspicious character, varying between the Jackson broad brim, and the English conical; and proving a complete pozer to the prying politician. Its crown is low, and bears indubitable marks of having seen hard service; the rim is of the width of an apple-peel, and is worn down in front nearly to the crown, which defect was caused by the laborious burrowing of its owner into odd holes and cor ners. The body of his coat is of faded blue broadcloth; but the arms have been so often worn out by a thrusting into deep crevices, and so often replaced by new ones, that there is no congruity in colour between them, and the main part aforesaid. Most of the buttons upon this garment are wanting, Jedediah having twisted them off, to ascertain the name of the maker; consequently, the coat continually flies open, disclosing a vest resembling a patchwork bed-quilt. This article he succeeded in rescuing from his irreconcileable enemies, the rats, after a long and dubious struggle with them in their very dens. It was immediately repaired with great care, and it is now worn by him as a memento of a great and glorious victory. The small clothes of this eccentric gentleman are of the stoutest buckskin, and have suffered great and frequent decay at the knees, from the crawling habits of their owner, they are now patched and stuffed, and covered over with jointed copper plates, which Jedediah has informed me effectually resist friction. In direct opposition to the fashion of the times, Mr. Eversearch indulges in long boots and tassels. The threads of these ornamental appendages, he takes much delight in counting daily; indeed it is his favourite amusement, save that of enumerating the hairs upon the back of a dingy cat, which prowls about his paternal dwelling. The accomplishment of this latter feat appeared to me incredible; but he assured me, that by perseverance he had accomplished it several times; twice having shaved the back of the veteran mouser, to ascertain if the hairs would be renewed in equal number. I have thus endeavoured to give a feeble delineation of the exterior of this inquisitive gentleman. His moral and intellectual qualifications entitle him to Yes, there's a spell in twilight's hour, Sheds a soft a soothing balm; Strange and mystic twilight, thou UNACCUSTOMED as I am to public writing, and to any other arts of composition than those by which the phraseology of a day-book or a ledger is got up, I still cannot refrain from trying my pen at a piece of description which ought long ago to have been furnished by some of my equally distressed and more gifted tellow-sufferers, the extensive class of persons distinguished by the name (itself, alas, most undistinguished !) of clerks. It is my object to recount, in my own individual, but far from peculiar case, some of the hardships and annoyances to which we prisoners of the counting house are constantly exposed. I would exhibit to the public a bill of lading, as it were, of our heavy grievances, and an invoice of the amount of our complaint-such an invoice too, as shall not be liable to discount from being overcharged. I am encouraged in this task, by the hope that "principals" may be urged to soften, in some degree, the rigours of employment; though I am duly sensible that this hope may be fated to prove as vain as that which I once entertained, for six years together, of a trifling advance of salary. By way of being sufficiently methodical, I will go so far back as to state that I was born in London, of respectable parents, and a feeble constitution. My education, received at a well frequented though cheap academy, was rather limited in quantity, and not so well directed as it might have been. My father, a substantial small tradesman in the grocery line, and a very plain sort of man in most matters, had the mistaken, but not uncommon notion, that his children should have " a finished education." Mine was very soon finished, in one sense, for I was taken away from school at thirteen, crammed, as I was, with a chaotic mass of Latin accidence and syntax (which my memory and inclination speedily got rid of,) and tolerably conversant with cyphering up to the rule of three inverse, besides being possessed of a smattering of bad French. Beyond this amount, I knew nothing; in truth, the Latin and French, as is usual, had absorbed by far the greater portion of the time. But these, if they were little understood at home, were very much admired; and my father, in particular, thought me as refined as his own best lump sugar. The paleness of my face, and that proneness to a sitting posture, that I shewed in common with other boys of weak health, had often occasioned him jocularly to say, "that I was cut out for a clerk;" and he now seriously proceeded, but no doubt with the best intentions, to make me a partaker in that deplorable destiny. 66 My father, among other things which he had no idea of, had none of "boys being idle ;" and I was therefore hardly permitted to taste the sweets of that liberty, which consisted in what was called the run of the shop. Here I was fated to make, not a figure, but figures, in the capacity of junior clerk. The nature and limits of my office were no further defined than by the vague understanding that I was to make myself useful." The first week convinced me abundantly that those were not wanting who would make me so, whether I did it myself, or not. It will, perhaps convey no unlively idea of the multifarious nature of my daily engage ments at that time, if I say that I positively cannot reckon up their number, in spite of the force of annoyance with which many of them severally impressed me. Among those which dwell most pertinaciously in my remembrance, is the process of copying. It was part of my business to transcribe nearly all that of the house. Letters, invoices, accounts current, accounts of sales, pro-formä statements, and many matters else, were all to be copied, and Jones (for so I was familiarly distinguished by my surname) was alone expected to do them. I was thus, alternately, either 66 a copying machine," myself, or the animal that worked the machine. It should be observed also, that part of the correspondence to be copied (for our firm had an extensive foreign business as agents) consisted of illegible Dutch and German letters. Mr. Gladwin, the senior partner, wrote a hand past all understanding, but was not a whit the less astonished at the blunders in my conjectural transcriptions. could not at all bring himself to ima He gine how so plain a thing as a letter of business could be mistaken. Then, as for the engagement of mind promoted by such a use of the pen, take the following as a sample :-" Molasses are heavy, but rums are looking up. In ashes, little has been done; pot are stationery, and pearl are of small value. Very considerable sales both of Irish and India pork are reported. In beef some transactions have transpired, and bacon is much sought after. Butters are nominal." The checking of calculations, as it was called, was another labour, that contributed materially to check my own growth. Every clerk in the office required his arithmetical processes to be gone into over again, and Jones was of course to work them out. Many a column of figures was my jaded eye obliged to ascend and descend half-a-dozen times, owing to my having made the amount greater by my own headache-and in many a subtraction did I fail, from being unable to take away from the operation the dizziness of my feelings. Such were, in part, my tribulations as an in-door clerk-but I was likewise at the same time an out-of-door one-because I was called neither. Among other perambulating pursuits of a like interest, was invited to make myself the "circulating medium" for distributing letters of routine among dealers and middlemen, and in general, all those matters which might be called the "unclaimed dividends" of employment, fell to my share. Was an errand to be run upon? Was a broker to be gone after? Was the price given for a lot of indigo, or a parcel of tobacco to be got at? Was a circular to be distributed over the metropolis? Jones was in requisition, and Jones was expected to be always at hand. It happened to be the season of winter when I commenced my official martyrdom at Messrs. Gladwin and Co's, and my arrival there was marked by that of a cargo of Virginia tobacco in the London Docks, consigned to their house. I was despatched, accordingly to deliver the manifest, as it is termed, at the Excise Office and Custom House, and to check the weights of the several hogsheads taken at the king's scales in the tobacco warehouse at the docks. In the performance of this latter duty, I had to stand, during every day of a tedious frosty week, from ten o'clock till four, on the benumbing stones, among an assemblage of blackguards, under the divers names of tidesurveyors, scale-men, foremen, and labourers, whose conversation was far too low and ribaldrous to be fitted for the ears of any youth decently brought up, and whose callous jests, during their inter vals of beer and cheese, were occasionally directed against my parchment face, or ink-tipped fingers. Whilst alluding to the London Docks, I cannot resist making a little digression, which may beguile for a moment both the reader's tedium and my own pains of memory. Some years after the time of which I speak, many and loud complaints were made by commercial people of the exorbitant shipping charges, or dues, extorted by the company owning those docks. One of our clerks, during a few minutes of unaccountable leisure, produced a scrap of counting-house wit in the following: EPIGRAM ON THE LONDON DOCK COMPANY. "Oh! how that name befits my composition."-SHAKSPEARE. "Dock Company!" choice name! and best Of characteristic off-hits! For merchants, by its dues opprest, Are docked of half their profits. But to return to my sad story. Harassing as were the details of my en.yloyment during the other four days of the commercial six, they were actually light in comparison with what.. I had to struggle and perspire through on the two foreign post-days, Tuesday and Friday. At these times, the Messieurs Gladwin were more than usually surly, and Mr. Makeweight more than usually bustling and directive; while I, after such a merciless fatigue of copying by candle-light, as must have made me look like a false as it were, the Post Office, frequently at the hour of of myself, was posted off to midnight, minus three minutes, which three minutes were to suffice for the transit from our counting house in Crutched Friars, to Lombard-street. I was thus required to unite the qualification of running legs to that of a running hand, and if copy, sometimes I failed to buffet through the opposing crowd before the fatal exclusive chime of the official dial, my return with the heap of letters was sure to be met with a still greater heap of reproofs. To be Continued. |