Ano. A trusty villain, fir; that very oft, Mer. I am invited, fir, to certain, merchants, Ant. Farewell till then: I will go lose myself, Methinks, your maw, like mine, should be your 5 Referve them till a merrier hour than this: 10 And tell me, how thou haft difpos'd thy charge. Mer. Sir, I commend you to your own content. Here comes the almanack of my true date. E. Dro. Return'd fo foon! rather approach'd too Ant. Stop in your wind, fir: tell me this, I pray; 20 Home to your house, the Phoenix, fir, to dinner; Ant. Now, as I am a christian, answer me, pate, Some of my miftrefs' marks upon my shoulders, But not a thousand marks between you both. If I fhould pay your worship those again, 25 Perchance, you will not bear them patiently. Ant. Thy mistress' marks! what mistress, flave, [Phoenix; haft thou? E. Dro. Your worship's wife, my mistress at the She that doth faft, till you come home to dinner, 30 And prays, that you will hie you home to dinner. Ant. What, wilt thou flout me thus unto my 35 Ant. Upon my life, by fome device or other, The villain is o'er-raught2 of all my money. To pay the fadler for my mistress' crupper;- [laft, 40 They say, this town is full of cozenage; As, nimble jugglers, that deceive the eye; 45 And many fuch like liberties of fin: [Exit. Adr.Why should their liberty than ours be more? Luc. Because their business still lies out o' door. Adr. Look, when I ferve him fo, he takes it ill. Luc. Oh, know he is the bridle of your will. Adr. There's none, but affes, will be bridled fo. Lue. Why head-ftrong liberty is lafh'd with woe. There's nothing, fituate under heaven's eye, But hath his bound, in earth, in sea, in sky : The beafts, the fifhes, and the winged fowls, Are their males' subject, and at their controuls: Men, more divine, the maiters of all thefe, Lords of the wide world, and wild watry feas, Indu'd with intellectual sense and fouls, Of more pre-eminence than fish and fowls, Are masters to their females, and their lords: Then let your will attend on their accords. Adr. This fervitude makes you to keep unwed. Luc. Not this, but troubles of the marriage-bed. Adr. But, were you wedded, you would bear fome fway. Luc. Ere I learn love, I'll practise to obey. Adr. How if your husband ftart fome other where 1? Luc. Till he come home again, I would forbear. 1cI know, quoth he, no boufe, no wife, no mistress ;— So that my errand due unto my tongue, 15 20 I thank him, I bare home upon my shoulders; [home. Adr. Patience, unmov'd, no marvel though the 25 If I last in this service, you must case me in leather. Luc. Well, I will marry one day, but to try; Here comes your man, now is your husband nigh. Enter Dremio of Ephefus. Adr. Say, is your tardy master now at hand? E. Dro. Nay, he is at two hands with me, and 40 that my two ears can witness. Adr. Say, didft thou fpeak with him? know'ft thou his mind? [Exit. Luc. Fye, how impatience lowreth in your face! Adr. His company must do his minions grace, Whilft I at home ftarve for a merry look: 30 Hath homely age the alluring beauty took E. Dro. Ay, ay, he told his mind upon mine car: Befhrew his hand, I fcarce could understand it. 45 Luc. Spake he fo doubtfully, thou couldst not feel his meaning? E. Dro. Nay, he ftruck fo plainly, I could too well feel his blows; and withal so doubtfully, that I could scarce understand them 2. Adr. But fay, I pr'ythee, is he coming home? [mad. Will lofe his beauty; and the gold 'bides ftill, That others touch; yet often touching will Wear gold: and fo no man, that hath a name, But falfhood and corruption doth it shame 6. E. Dro. I mean not cuckold-mad; but, fure, 55 Since that my beauty cannot please his eye, he's ftark mad: When I defir'd him to come home to dinner, He afk'd me for a thousand marks in gold: 1 Meaning, fome other place. I'll weep what's left away, and weeping die. Luc. How many fond fools ferve mad jealousy! [Exeunt. 2 Meaning, ftand under them. 3 That is, plain, free in fpeech. Meaning, my change, or alteration of features. 5 That is, his pretence, his cover. See a preceding note in the Tempest. 6 The fenfe is, "Gold, indeed, will long bear the handling; however, often touching will wear even gold; just so the greatest character, though as pure as gold itself, may, in time, be injured by the repeated attacks of falfhood and corruption. SCENE Enter Antipbolis of Syracuse. Ant. The gold, I gave to Dromio, is laid up Safe at the Centaur; and the heedful flave Is wander'd forth, in care to seek me out. By computation, and mine hoft's report, How now, fir? is your merry humour alter'd? S. Dro. What answer, fir? when spake I fuch a word? Ant. Even now, even here, not half an hour fince. 20 Ant. Well, fir, learn to jeft in good time: There's a time for all things. S. Dro. I durft have deny'd that, before you were fo cholerick. Ant. By what rule, fir? S. Dro. Marry, fir, by a rule as plain as the plain bald pate of father Time himself. Ant. Let's hear it. S. Dro. There's no time for a man to recover his hair, that grows bald by nature. Ant. May he not do it by fine and recovery? S. Dro. Yes, to pay a fine for a peruke, and recover the loft hair of another man. Ant. Why is Time fuch a niggard of hair, being, 25 as it is, fo plentiful an excrement? S. Dro. I am glad to see you in this merry vein: S. Dro. Sconce, call you it? fo you would leave S. Dro. Nothing, fir, but that I am beaten. S. Dro. Ay, fir, and wherefore; for, they fay, 50 every why hath a wherefore. [fore, Ant. Why, firft, for flouting me; and then, whereFor urging it the fecond time to me. [of feafon, S. Dro. Was there ever any man thus beaten out When, in the why, and the wherefore, is neither rhime nor reason ?— Well, fir, I thank you. Ant. Thank me, fir? for what? S. Dro. Marry, fir, for this fomething that you gave me for nothing. Ant. I'll make you amends next, to give you no-l S. Dro. Because it is a bleffing that he bestows on beafts: and what he hath fcanted men in hair, he hath given them in wit. Ant. Why, but there's many a man hath more hair than wit. S. Dro. Not a man of those but he hath the wit to lofe his hair 3. Ant. Why, thou didst conclude hairy men plain dealers without wit. S. Dro. The plainer dealer, the sooner loft: Yet he lofeth it in a kind of jollity. Ant. For what reason? S. Dro. For two; and found ones too. Ant. Nay, not found, I pray you. S. Dro. Sure ones then. Ant. Nay, not fure, in a thing falfing. S. Dro. Certain ones then. Ant. Name them. S. Dro. The one, to fave the money that he fp ends in tiring; the other, that at dinner they should not drop in his porridge. Ant. You would all this time have prov'd, there is no time for all things. S. Dr. Marry, and did, fir; namely, no time to recover hair loft by nature. Ant. But your reason was not fubftantial, why there is no time to recover. S. Dro. Thus I mend it: Time himself is bald, and therefore to the world's end, will have bald fol|55|lowers. Ant. I knew, 'twould be a bald conclusion: Enter Adriana and Luciana. Adr. Ay, ay, Antipholis, look strange, and frown; 60 Some other miftrefs hath thy fweet afpects, I am not Adriana, nor thy wife. The allufion is to thofe tracts of effects of the venereal disease, Those who are entrapped by ' Meaning, And break in, or intrude upon them when you pleafe. ground called commons. 2 That is, fortify it. 3 This alludes to the one of which, on its first appearance in Europe, was the lofs of hair. Loofe women, have more hair than wit, and suffer for their lewdness, by the lofs of their hair. The The time was once, when thou, unurg'd, would'st And better than thy dear felf's better part. As take from me thyself, and not me too. I know thou canft, and therefore fee, thou do it. Keep then fair league and truce with thy true bed: 5 Adr. How ill agrees it with your gravity, To counterfeit thus grofly with your flave, Abetting him to thwart me in my mood? Be it my wrong, you are from me exempt', But wrong not that wrong with a more contempt. Come, I will faften on this fleeve of thine: Thu art an elm, my husband, I a vine; Whofe weakness, marry'd to thy stronger state, Makes me with thy ftrength to communicate: If ought poffefs thee from me, it is drofs, Ufurping ivy, briar, or idle 2 mofs; Who, all for want of pruning, with intrusion infect thy fap, and live on thy confusion. [theme: Ant. To me the speaks; the moves me for her 15 What, was I marry'd to her in my dream? Or fleep I now, and think I hear all this? What error drives our eyes and ears amifs? Until I know this fure uncertainty, 20 2. I'll entertain the favour'd fallacy. Luc. Dromio, go, bid the fervants spread for dinner. S. Dro. Oh, for my beads! I crofs me for a finner. This is the fairy land;-oh, fpight of fpights; We talk with goblins, owls 3, and elvish sprights; If we obey them not, this will enfue, [blue 25 They'll fuck our breath, and pinch us black and Luc. Why prat'ft thou to thyself, and answer'st not? [fot! Dromio, thou drone, thou fnail, thou flug, thou S. Dro. I am transform'd, master, am I not? Ant. I think, thou art, in mind, and so am I. S. Dro. Nay, mafter, both in mind, and in my Ant. Thou haft thine own shape. [shape. 30 Ant. Plead you to me, fair dame? I know you not:35 In Ephefus I am but two hours old, As ftrange unto your town, as to your talk; Luc. Fie, brother! how the world is chang'd with 4c Ant. By Dromio? S. Dro. By me? Adr.By thee;and thus thou didst return from him,- S. Dro. I, fir? I never faw her till this time. Ant. Villain, thou lieft; for even her very words Didft thou deliver to me on the mart. S. Dro. I never spake with her in all my life. Ant. How can fhe thus then call us by our names, Unless it be by inspiration? S. Dro. No, I am an ape. Luc. If thou art chang'd to ought, 'tis to an afs. S. Dro. 'Tis true, fhe rides me, and I long for 'Tis fo, I am an afs; elfe it could never be, [grass. But I fhould know her as well as fhe knows me. Adr. Come, come, no longer will I be a fool, To put the finger in the eye and weep, Whilft man, and master, laugh my woes to fcorn. Come, fir, to dinner; Dromio, keep the gate: Hufband, I'll dine above with you to-day, And fhrive you of a thousand idle pranks : Sirrah, if any ask you for your master, 45 Say, he dines forth, and let no creature enter.Come, fifter: Dromio, play the porter well. Ant. Am I in earth, in heaven, or in hell? Sleeping or waking? mad, or well-advis'd? Known unto thefe, and to myfelf difguis'd! 5I'll fay as they say, and perfever so, 1551 And in this mift at all adventures go. S. Dr. Mafter, fhall I be porter at the gate ? Adr. Ay, let none enter, left I break your pate. Luc. Come, come, Antipholis, we dine too late. [Excunt. That is, feparated. 2 That is, unfertile, and therefore useless or idle; an happy allusion to the mofs which grows on fruit-trees, haftening their decay, and neither fuffers the tree to bear fruit, nor does it bear any itself. The exact character of the kind of woman whom Adriana fuppofes to have attracted the affections of Antipholis. S. A. 3 Dr. Warburton fays, it was an old popular fuperstition, that the fcrietch-owl fucked out the breath and blood of infants in the cradle. On this account, the Italians called witches, who were supposed to be in like manner mischievously bent against children, frega, from frix, the ferietch-ol. That is, I'll call you to confeffion, and make you tell all y our tricks. ACT The fireet before Antipbolis's boufe. Enter Antipbolis of Ephefus, Dromio of Epbefus, E. Ant. Go Angelo, and Baltbazar. OOD fignior Angelo, you must excufe My wife is fhrewish, when I keep not hours; And that to-morrow you will bring it home. E. Dr. Say what you will, fir, but I know what That you beat me at the mart, I have your hand to show: [gave were ink, 20 If the skin were parchment, and the blows you Your own hand-writing would tell you what I think. E. Ant. I think, thou art an afs. E. Dro. Marry, so it doth appear III. When one is one too many? go, get thee from the door. E. Dro. What patch is made our porter? my mafter stays in the street. S. Dro. Let him walk from whence he came, left he catch cold on's feet. [door. E. Ant. Who talks within there? ho, open the S. Dro. Right, fir, I'll tell you when, an you'll tell me wherefore. [not din'd to-day. E. Ant. Wherefore? for my dinner; I have S. Dro. Nor to-day here you must not; come again, when you may. E. Ant. What art thou, that keep'st me out from the house I owe? S. Dro. The porter for this time, fir, and my name is Dromio. E. Dro. O villain, thou hast stolen both mine office and my name; [blame. The one ne'er got me credit, the other mickle If thou hadst been Dromio to-day in my place, Thou would't have chang'd thy face for a name, or thy name for an afs. S. Drog. O Lord, I must laugh : By the wrongs I fuffer, and the blows I bear. 25 Ar país, [an afs You would keep from my heels, and bew- god, our cheer [here. May answer my good-will, and your good welcome| Bal. I hold your dainties cheap, fir, and your welcome dear. [fish, 30 [staff? maki S. Dro. If thy name be called Luce, Luce, thou E. Ant. Do you hear, you minion? you'll let Luce. I thought to have afk'd you. E. Dro. So, come, help; well ftruck; there E. Ant. Thou baggage, let me in. E. Ant. You'll cry for this, minion, if I beat Luce. What needs all that, and 1 A carkanet is faid to have been a necklace set with stones, or ftrung with pearls. 2 That is, blockhead, stock, poft. Sir T. Hanmer fays, Meme owes its original to the French word Momon, which fignifies the gaming at dice in masquerade, the custom and rule of which is, that a strict filence is to be observed: whatever sum one stakes, another covers, but not a word is to be spoken: from hence alfo comes our word mum! for filence. 3 That is, fool.. 4 That is, I own. 5 To trow fignifies to think, to imagine, to conceive. Ang |