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its disadvantages. As an ill musician, (or indeed one that cannot play at all,) instead of playing, puts the fiddle out of tune, (and causeth a discord,) which, if well played upon, would sound harmoniously; or if he can play but one tune, plays it on all sorts of instruments; so, some will read with one tone or sound of voice, though the passions and numbers are different; and some again, in reading, wind up their voices to such a passionate screw, that they whine or squeal, rather than speak or read: others fold up their voices with such distinctions, that they make that triangular which is four-square; and that narrow, which should be broad; and that high, which should be low; and low, that should, be high and some again read so fast, that the sense is lost in the race. So that writings sound good or bad, as the readers, and not as their authors are: and, indeed, such advantage a good or ill reader hath, that those that read well shall give a grace to a foolish author; and those that read ill, do disgrace a wise and a witty one. But there are two sorts of readers; the one that reads to himself, and for his own benefit; the other, to benefit another by hearing it: in the first, there is required a good judgment, and a ready understanding: in the other, a good voice and a graceful delivery: so that a writer must have a double desire; the one, that he may write well; the other, that he may be read well.
Love as if you could nate and might be hated, is a maxim of detested prudence in real friendship, the bane of all tenderness, the death of all familiarity. Consider the fool who follows it as nothing inferior to him who at every bit of bread trembles at the thought of its being poisoned.
The more honesty a man has, the less he affects the air of a saint-the affectation of sanctity is a blot on the face of piety.
Before the year 1736, it had been usual for gentlemen of the House of Commons to dine together at the Crown-tavern in Palace-yard, in order to be in readiness to attend the service of the house. This club amounted to one hundred and twenty, besides thirty of their friends coming out of the country. In January, 1736, sir Robert Walpole and his friends began to dine in the same manner, at the Bell and Sun in King-street, Westminster, and their club was one hundred and fifty, besides absent members. These parties seem to have been the origin of Brookes's and White's clubs.
RIGHT AND LEFT HAND.
Dr. Zinchinelli, of Padua, in an essay "On the Reasons why People use the Right Hand in preference to the Left," will not allow custom or imitation to be the cause. He affirms, that the left arm cannot be in violent and continued motion without causing pain in the left side, because there is the seat of the heart and of the arterial system; and that, therefore, Nature herself compels man to make use of the right hand.
a while they might be declared game by the legislature, which would materially expedite their extirpation.
II. Make use of their fur. Rat-skin robes for the ladies would be beautiful, warm, costly, and new. Fashion requires only the two last qualities; it is hoped the two former would not be objection
III. Inoculate some subjects with the small-pox, or any other infectious disease, and turn them loose. Experiments should first be made, lest the disease should assume in them so new a form as to be capa ble of being returned to us with interest. If it succeeded, man has means in his hand which would thin the hyenas, wolves, jackals, and all gregarious beasts of prey.
N. B. If any of our patriotic societies should think proper to award a gold medal, silver cup, or other remuneration to either of these methods, the projector has left his address with the editor.*
Sancho, prince of Castile, being present at a papal consistory at Rome, wherein the proceedings were conducted in Latin, which he did not understand, and hearing loud applause, inquired of his interpreter what caused it: "My lord," replied the interpreter, "the pope has caused you to be proclaimed king of Egypt." "It does not become us," said the grave Spaniard, 66 K be wanting in gratitude; rise up, and pro. claim his holiness caliph of Bagdad."
• Dr. Aikin's Athenæum.
DISCOUNT FOR CASH.
The following anecdote is related in a journal of the year 1789:
A service of plate was delivered at the duke of Clarence's house, by his order, accompanied by the bill, amounting to 15007., which his royal highness deeming exorbitant, sent back, remarking, that he conceived the overcharge to be occasioned by the apprehension that the tradesman might be kept long out of his money. He added, that so far from its being his intention to pay by tedious instalments, or otherwise distress those with whom he dealt, he had laid it down as an invariable principle, to discharge every account the moment it became due. The account was returned to his royal highness the next morning, with three hundred pounds taken off, and it was instantly paid.
A wit said of the late bishop of Durham, when alive," His grace is the only man in England who may kill game legally without a stamped license: if actually taken with a gun in his hand, he might exclaim in the words of his own grants-I Shute, by divine permission.""
"STOP AND READ."
We have seen this requisition on the walls till we are tired: in a book it is a novelty, and here, I hope it may enforce its claim. For thy sake, gentle reader, I am anxious that it should; for, if thou hast a tithe of the pleasure I had, from the perusal of the following verses, I expect commendation for bidding thee stop and read."
THE FIRST OF MARCH.
The bud is in the bough
In her veins to feel the blood,
For the Table Book.
"Is the master at home, sir?' said a broad-shouldered Scotchman (wearing a regimental coat of the regiment, and with his bonnet in his hand) to myself, who had answered a ring at the office-bell. I replied that he was not. "Weel, that's onlucky, sir," said he, "for ye see, sir, a hae goten a pertection here, an' a hae been till a' the Scotchmen that a can hear ony thing o', but they hae a' signed for the month; an' a hae a shorteness o' brith, that wunna lat me wurk or du ony thing; an' a'd be vary gland gin a cud git doon to Scoteland i' the nixt vaissel, for a hanna' a baubee; an', as a sid afore, a canna wurk, an' gin maister B. wud jist sign ma pertecVol. I.-10
MATTHEWS and Self.
tion, a hae twa seagnatures, an' a'd gi. awa' the morn." For once I had told no lie in denying Mr. B. to his visitor, and, therefore, in no dread of detection from cough, or other vivâ voce evidence, I ushered the "valiant Scot" into the sanctum of a lawyer's clerk.
There is a very laudable benevolent institution in London, called the "Scottish Hospital," which, on proper representations made to it, signed by three of its members, (forms whereof are annexed, in blank, to the printed petition, which is given gratuitously to applicants,) will pass poor natives of Scotland to such parts of their father-land as they wish, free of expense, and will otherwise relieve their wants; but each member is only allowed
to sign one petition each month. This poor fellow had come in hopes of obtaining Mr. B.'s signature to his request to be sent home; and, while waiting to procure it, told me the circumstances that had reduced him to ask it.
He was a native of ——, where the rents had lately been raised, by a new laird, far beyond the capabilities of the tacksmen. They had done their best to pay them-had struggled long, and hard, with an ungrateful soil-but their will and industry were lost; and they were, finally, borne down by hard times, and harsh measures. 'Twas hard to leave the hearths which generations of their forefathers had shadowed and hallowed 'twas yet harder to see their infants' lips worrying the exhausted breast, and to watch the cheeks of their children as they grew pale from want-and to see their frolics tamed by hunger into inert stupidity. An American trader had just touched at their island, for the purpose of receiving emigrants, and half its inhabitants had domiciled themselves on board, before her arrival had been known twelve hours. Our poor Scot would fain have joined them, with his family and parents, but he lacked the means to provide even the scanty store of oatmeal and butter which they were required to ship before they could be allowed to step on deck; so, in a fit of distress and despair, he left the home that had never been a day out of his sight, and enlisted with a party of his regiment, then at
> for the sole purpose of sending to the afflicted tenants of his "bit housey," the poor pittance of bounty he received, to be a short stay 'twixt them and starva
He had been last at St. John's, Newfoundland; " and there," said he, indignantly, “they mun mak' a cook's orderly o' me, as gin a war' nae as proper a man as ony o' them to carry a musket; an' they sint me to du a' the odd jobes o' a chap that did a wife's-wark, tho' there were a gude fivety young chaps i' the regiment that had liked it wul aneugh, and were better fetting for the like o' sican a place than mysel. And so, sir," he continued, "thar a was, working mysel intill a scalding heat, and than a'd geng out to carry in the cauld water; an' i' the decing o't, a got a cauld that sattled inwardly, an' garr'd me hae a fivre an' spit blood. Weel, sir, aifter mony months, a gote better; but oh! a was unco weak, and but a puir creature frae a strong man afore it: but a did na mak muckle o't, for a thought ay, gin ony thing cam o't to disable me, or so, that a should
hae goten feve-pence or sax-pence a-day an' that had been a great help.'
Oh! if the rich would but take the trouble to learn how many happy hearts they might make at small expense--and fashion their deeds to their knowledgehow many prayers might nightly ascend with their names from grateful bosoms to the recording angel's ears-and how much better would the credit side of their account with eternity appear on that day, when the great balance must be struck!
There was a pause-for my narrator's breath failed him; and I took the opportunity of surveying him. He was about thirty, with a half hale, half hectic cheek; a strong red beard, of some three days' growth, and a thick crop of light hair, such as only Scotchmen have one of the Cain's brands of our northern brethrenit curled firmly round his forehead; and his head was set upon his broad shoulders with that pillar of neck which Adrian in particular, and many other of the Roman emperors, are represented with, on their coins, but which is rarely seen at present. He must, when in full health, have stood about five feet seven; but, now, he lost somewhat of his height in a stoop, contracted during his illness, about the chest and shoulders, and common to most people affected with pulmonary complaints: his frame was bulky, but the sinews seemed to have lost their tension; and he looked like 66 one of might," who had grappled strongly with an evil one in sore sickness. He bore no air of discontent, hard as his lot was; yet there was nothing theatrical in his resignation. All Scotchmen are predestinarians, and he fancied he saw the immediate hand of Providence working out his destiny through his misfortunes, and against such interference he thought it vain to clamour. Far other were my feelings when I looked on his fresh, broad face, and manly features, his open brow, his width of shoulders, and depth of chest, and heard how the breath laboured in that chest for inefficient vent
"May be," said he-catching my eye in its wanderings, as he raised his own from the ground," May be a'd be better, gin a were doon i' wun nain place." I was vext to my soul that my look had spoken so plainly as to elicit this remark. Tell a man in a consumption that he looks charmingly, and you have opened the sluices of his heart almost as effectually, to your ingress, as if you had really cured him. And yet I think this poor fellow said what he did, rather to please one which