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trouble to examine into the accounts of a breakfast, struck his fist upon the table Mesa, for a period which ought to harmo- for attention. nize with our own; but, to my sorrow, " By the reckonings, guessings, and that examination proves the ruinous, ex- calculations which have been entered into travagant, ill-managed system now purby the different speakers, we might supsued so clearly, that I will read the brief pose ourselves on the other side of the extracts which I have made :
Atlantic : but here (Dieu Merci !) we “ The accounts for the same month in wish for no discrepant reckoners, no vithe year 1793 (loud and continued tuperant guessers, no tergiversating callaughter) show the sum total expended culators. to be 121. 148. 6 d. and now to my utter “ I would as soon trust a Panangt as a dismay, I observe our expenditure to be Philadelphia lawyer ; the latter confounds the enormous sum of 161. 28. 31d. which the head, and the former breaks it at once, makes a surplus deficit (laughter and and there's an end on't. Let Peter stand cheers) I would say a wasteful surplus forth and answer, why there is no dinner unnecessary expenditure of 31. 78. 87d. to day?"
“ Our mouths are pretty near the saine Here the reluctant Peter said, to day's size as in the year 1793. (Bravo!) Our allowance was drawn yesterday, and no bodies have the same work to perform; advance would be made, although he had butter, salt fish, and pickled tripe, Har: used his best entreaties with the pervey's sauce, Durham mustard, and red son at the head of the victualling departcabbage, have the same effects, and are ment. nearly the same price; coffee is as good “ If the fellow, "continued Fire Eater, as Bocó can vouch; Potatoes are not
can give no reasonable answer, let him less nutritive or prolific, for which I appeal not only be brought to book but to the to Paddy, and the monopoly on souchong stake. Strip him, I say, of the emblems being likely to expire, we shall have it of his office; which, if we trust to Mr. better and cheaper. Why then, I would Smudge's reasoning, may still jingle in his ask, ought our expenditure to be greater empty pocket. (Cheers ?) 1 repeat, if than in the year 1793 ? (Hear, hear! Peter be found deficient, seize him, depose and a laugh.) I for one, will not con- him, punish him. sent to continue Peter in his office until
Here Peter made his escape, and the he shall have shown us clearly, why such laws, which were suspended over his additional expenditure has taken place, chair, were torn down and burnt in the (Hear, hear!) and until I perceive a snuffer-stand,
amidst the triumphant disposition for economical reform.
As shouts of the revolutionists, and a wellwe had no dinners to day, we may have regulated mess became a scene of constill less to morrow. (Cheers!) Goths, fusion. what do you laugh at ? did you never The following day six members were hear of Sir Isaac Newton's numbers less chosen to conduct the affairs, in which than nothing ? (Cheers) If we go on republican state, we are sorry to say, increasing our expenditure when we have it still remains. nothing expend, (loud cheers !) we shall be obliged to draw on the empty substantiality of Peter's purse. (Hear, Atrocious Outrage.--It is with the heur !) to avoid which dreadful alterna- 'deepest feelings of sympathy, that we tive, I give my firm support to Muzzy's communicate the particulars of the atroproposition.'
cious outrage committed on the person Gruff begged to observe, that gentle- and property of Patrick Donnavan, Esq. men on both sides seemed to indulge in of the Marines, at the dead hour of mida their own peculiar music, which to him night, on Monday last. was entirely out of time and tune, as they Patrick on this direful night, had retihad not said one word about roast beef red to bed, and lay, as he was wont to do, and plum puddings things essential to like a good harmless dormant lump of clay their very existence—things to which he fast locked in the arms of Morpheus. His had long been accustomed, and would cot was under the shade of the sentinel's continue to have in despite of all new- lamp: but the hardened villains cozened fangled notions, and as there had been no the soldier from his post, and perpetrated such good stuff to day, he would support the blackest deed that ever soiled our Muzzy's motion.
pages. Boco rose, hem'd, haw'd, but brought A large bucketful of black varnish and forth nothing
tar was poured in upon the inoffensive Several other abortive members were coughed down to rise no more, and then
+ A bamboo cane is jocularly called a Panang Fire Eater, who had eaten nothing since lawyer,
carcase of the unhappy man, but we shall To mind, each ill that I alas ! have done thee, conclude the horrid description in his own
The ungrateful curses I have showered on thee,
When thon intrusive on the sunny ma! words, uttered this morning before the Didst lazy hang on arm, an useless pall; chief-magistrate.
Oreke when winds thy welcome aid did flout, “I was asleep, fast asleep, in bed in And thou wast in thine agony turned inside
ont, my cabin, when all on a sudden I felt, I
-no matter-'twas my don't know how, half choked, half-suffocated, and deprived of all my senses but Thou fought'st in—while from vulgar jaws smelling, and that source of sensibility The loud ha ! ha! resounded, 'twas my gall seemed only stuffed with poison. I tried Oh, thou that in withstanding life's dread to move, and when I succeeded, I found
storm, my pillow glued, as it were to the back of I that beneath thee was—one drop shall warm my head. I stretched out my hands to
One showering drop once more, and then
farewell! clear my mouth, eyes, nose,
ears, Shall on the fall, where erst a host has fell. when I heard a kind of rustling, like ele Rest thy old bones in peace; and would that I phants among the reeds of a jungle, suc
Like thee were dead, or one like what thou
wast could-buy. W. MORLEY. ceeded by smothered bursts of fiendlike laughter, and a hissing voice then said,
Oh the Galoot! now's the time, his eyes are full, finish the work !" at which
EVENING. there was a general splash that converged about my head, and I was actually afloat.
(For the Olio.) Was this a deadly dream, or real death? -The voice, the rustling, the fall, and This is the hour when memory wakes, the inauspicious vessel that was left in my This is the hour when fancy takes, bed, proclaimed the rest, and Sir, as this A survey of the past. is a most unheard of outrage to be committed on one holding a commission, I She brings before the pensive mind, hope that endeavours will be used to
Dear thoughts of earlier years;
And friends that have been long consigned discover and punish the perpetrators.” To silence and to tears.
We are sorry to add, that no clue was left by which to trace the ruffians, and we The few we liked, the one we .oved, have little hopes of any of them turning
Come slowly stealing on; king's evidence. All that could be disco. And many a form far hence removed,
And many a pleasure gone. vered were foot-marks on the cockpitladder outlined by tar and varnish. No Friendship's that now in death are hushed, property was stolen, nor can we assign Affection's broken chain any reason for the act: it has however And hopes, that fate too quickly crushed,
In memory lives again. been suggested to us, by a correspondent, that Patrick had retired to bed unshaven, I watch the fading gleams of day, and that Neptune's officer deputy may I muse on bright science flown; be fairly suspected.-Night Watch. Tint after tint, they fade away,
Night comes and all are gone. G. B. C.
MAY DAY VOTARIES AND (For the Olio.)
CHIMNEY SWEEPERS SPORTS, ON THE DISSOLUTION OF MY UMBRELLA.
“ Poor fellows ! this is their great festival." And from the many I've been severed from In life's short diuturnity, could noneNot even thee, thou friendship's emblem
Ir the creative fecundity of earth, air, thou
and sky, animates the philosopher, the Who in life's sunshine held my careless brow poet, the peasant, and tourist,—if the At distance, still content, and rather did'st in
concentrated body of dissenters are drawn need Extend thy sheltering wing, like fiend indeed, into their pleasures in the metropolis,-if Whene'er the pelting storm its hoarse voice the moralist, differing with the relaxed reared,
opinions of his anti-associates, becomes And deluged forth its drenching spite,-be spared.
more rigid the more powerfully the spring Lov'd relic of what was ! in time to come,
develops the passions of general natures, When damping fears shall greet the cloudy -a liberal spirit dictates to each and all, gloom,
simply and collectively, to fill the chalice I'll think on thee, thou last that I shall mourn! For now from me all hope, all friends are gone
of opportunity with joy. With thee-and conscience, in the course of
The papist might be abstemious, and things,
fast; the Israelite might clothe himself in Now memory culls life's scattered nettles,
to sackcloth and ashes ;"—the lover of brings
external nature might encourage sceneries, versary, without alms-giving, her epithets visions, and rhapsodies. The citizen are, like Juvenal's, caustic. Then the might rusticate out of the smoke-dried jerk of her partner's feet, the quirk of his houses in narrow lanes and pent-up alleys, elbow and face, meantime, beating right and take his collations in snug security : and left with weapons which are brickthe sea-voyager might trip to Land's End scrapers and hallooers in chimney-pots, by steam ;-the traveller might trust his and performing duties with a brush by asviews to the outside conveyance of a pa- cension. These are followed by the little tent coach ;-the tippler might moralize gingerbread, sore-eyed, and blain-heeled with his breathing pipe, so that he does boys, with pipe-tones and half-mourning not drown the moral in his cup ;-the fa- limbs, like joy and grief blended. mily-man might fill the chaise with chil
However refreshing the virgin showers dren, victuals, and riding comforts :--the of a May noon rainbow, and however good and trusty housewife might, like a beautifully the flowers open in the haunts hen, cluck with her chickens round her, of the cuckoo and blossom-hid blackbird, and venture into the fields ;-boys might down whose glossy plumage dew-drops advance their kites and balls in the air ; run like quicksilver; yet, the hope-gaathletic artizans might fling the coit, strike thering chimney sweepers, who are not, the trap, lift the bell, throw the javelin, used to the washing sweetness of may-lihit the target, and guard the wicket ;-—the quid, nor appreciate the sensation of drops aeronaut might sail in floods of wind, and moistening dry ground, like draughts to disappear in seas of æther. If such, then, feverish throats, are pitiable objects bebe the occupations, such the tendencies smeared in garlands, as amateurs in corn of society in England, the first of May- fields exhibit the misfortunes attendant on the ever memorable and hilarious May- merry efforts. day, is redolent with a thousand springs It is asserted, whether truly or not, of active benevolence and sport, working masters and mistresses are the getters-up in the breasts, and shining in the eyes, of of this commemoration; that the poor sooty chimney sweepers.
creatures who try their histrionic talent on Hither, come hither, all ye young feet, the stage of May day, and the two suclight hearts, and flexible faces. Hear ye ceeding days, to a street audience, like the not the rumbling sound of the drum, and Athenians of old, and disastrous players clatter of the shovel and brush? See ye in provincial towns, labour “ worthy of not the bustle of people as the procession their hire,” but do not participate in procomes nearer and nearer, and is angling portionate benefit. the corners of the square ? The chimney The miseries of climbing boys are many: sweepers are here." Think ye not of the their mercies ought to be so. Mercy Montagues? Make way!.“ I have a was never so wounded before," the art of kindly yearning toward these dim specks, chimney tracing by boys, when it is known poor blots, innocent blacknesses, these they are society only with those whom almost clergy imps, who sport their cloth they carry on the sooty trade, it should be without assumption.” Jack-in-the-Green understood these orphans, blackened into is dancing to the chimney music, as he growth as they are, ought to climb into carries and trundles the leafy house about colliquative feelings with as much affechis ears, in a circle of brazen frontispieces. tion as their more fastidious brotherhood The lass chosen for the revelry, is of the in callings of fairer proportion.* fairest boys in the train, with a bold face To say they are painted and bedecked smart leg, and winsome: she makes jokes as they dance, at the kind-hearted gentlemen and scruples not to crack a sauce-box with the shining
• Hey trim, hey, go trix,' brass ladle. Her personification of the hoy- would not libel higher classes, but moral den is perfect. She exchanges the pre- ise Hamlet's sentiment of Yorick's skull. vailing stay fashion of fifty years since
Whether pride is vulgar or refined, hufor a bustle. Her dance savours of the
man frailty will appear
" in the wind and morris. Her romping curtsey in the finale the rain." is a grimace in the motion of elegance. The toss of her head, like that of a half. Where a lamp-post stands, (these tyburn
Chimney sweepers are born for sights. penny, to which she is accustomed, is lofty,-either Head or Woman! She tips
* Dr. Birkbeck has proposed in one of his lecthe wink with her eye, as easily as with a
tures at the Mechanics' Institute, the conglass. Her stare at the caps and curls struction of ch so as to supersede the hung out of the upper rooms, for a re necessity of climbing boys. And a Mr. Hiort membrance of the sc
has obtained letters patent for an improved poor sweeps!" is fe
construction of chimney, which is calculated licitous and true to nature. To those who
to do away with the employing of Climbing retire, or walk on, after seeing the anni. Boys.
tree lamp posts are going out to make way In ball, or dance, where bright eyes glance for the stately gas-iron lamps) or a wall
To young lads light and trim,
His years advance, deny the chance is left, they are sure to scale it and take a
Desired by him : first place, and over-top the power-get- With art and nature, though he try, ting advantages of the wealthy ; here, too, He cannot catch the lassie's eye. they sit in security, as their clamours,
She will not see, how ardent be like rooks in elm trees, declare.
Pursues her love in vain : At the theatre, when a new pantomime No tear will she, in grief or glee, is in vogue, they keep the front seats : Shed for his pain :their vantage ground is visible by their Alas! if youth is not the part,
Man can not win a lassie's' heart. holding it con amore in Olympic authority. Like cuirassiers, their dress secures them. At the river they fish in “ untroubled waters," cleaner boys being “ out of
SONNET TO SCOTLAND. their line,” stand from them at respectful distance. They are not afraid of the mud My country, when I think of all I've lost, bath, but glory in wading propensities. In leaving thee to seek a foreign home, Find me an erudite reflector, who can
I find more cause the farther still I roam,
To mourn the hour I left thy favoured coast; select so cheap a luxury as this, of mana
For each high privilege, which is the boast ging the tribes of the pond with a stick, And birthright of thy sons, by patriots gained, crooked pin, thread, broken pitcher, and Dishonoured dies when right and truth are blood-worms. It is the sweep at one end
And caitiff's ride-by sordid lusts engrossed. and a prickleback at the other.
I may, perhaps, (each generous purpose Ask the gaunt charity-boy, whose crossed,) clothes creep up his arms and legs, and Forget the higher aims for which I've strained; whose head grows too large for his cap,
Calmly resign the hopes I've priz'a the most,
And learn cold cautions I have long disdained, if any sport (excepting frog-catching) But my heart must be calmer, colder yet, surpasseth the rural occupation of the Ere Scotland and fair freedom 1 forget. modern Walton's ?
The Ephemerides. Ask the truant who steals time out of school books, and like a member of parliament, vacates his seat for the Chiltern hundreds, if aught is so exquisite, as a ORIGINAL LETTER OF AMY ROBstroll in gear, though alone, (an angler SERT, THE WIFE OF ROBERT is never alone, because patience at DUDLEY, EARL OF LEICESTER. tends him as à shadowed virtue) to brook margins, canals, and ditches. To The following letter cannot fail of being notice the anxieties of hustlecap, chouse, read with unusual interest, since it is, we and hop-scotch; to delineate the sausage believe, the only memorial of the kind eating feats at Bartlemy, and enter fully which is extant or the well known Amye into the habits of chimney sweepers du- ROBSERT, the unfortunate wife of Robert ring their course of education, is beyond Dudley, earl of Leicester. The date of these limits prescribed. Let, then, the the year is not mentioned ; the contents of ascetic, the usurer, the stone-hearted mic the letter describe the sorrow of the fair santhropist, live in concealed vanity, ab- writer for the departure of her lord, and horrent to the better portion of mankind; exhibit both of them in an ainiable light; but, so long as chimneys require sweep- he, as being extremely solicitous that ing, and sweepers require recreation, may some poor men should be paid that which the honours of May-day be celebrated in was due to them; and she, as willing to the anticipated exertions of their prologue, make a pecuniary sacrifice, in order that and the great drama of society be more his wishes might be immediately fulfilled. humanely represented each returning year, It is not a little singular, that it was neto their edification and well being, since cessary to sell some wool for the purpose “Golden lads and lasses must,
of raising the money required, and which Like chimney-sweepers, come to dust."
tends to fix the time in which the letter P. was written to an early period of Dudleys
fortune. This letter is preceded in the
M. S. where it is preserved by one signed THE VANITY OF LOVE.
“ R. Duddeley,” dated “ from Hays,
this Friday morning, Sent Magdylin's When white hairs streak, and wrinkles make daye,” and directed to his “ vearrie Impressions on the brow,
frinde John Flowerdew, esquier, wt. The heart might ache, the tongue might break speed,” thanking him for the trouble he
Love's trusty vow :
had taken in his affairs respecting Flicham Dan, cannot make a • lassie' sigh.
As in the 6th of Elizabeth, 1563, Dud. ley was created Baron Denbigh and Earl' A Lady's dress and reputation are of Leicester, his letter must have been equally sacred; the person who meddles written before that year; and it is most with either, may tremble for the vengeance probable that Lady Dudley's was written of the offended fair. about that time. A remarkable letter, relative to the suspicious manner in which she died, will be found in Hayne's Burgh Will make us betray and fight against ley Papers. Mr. Flowerdew, to whom ourselves, and for want of other witnesses, both the letters in question are addressed, give evidence against its owner. was of Hetherseti, in Norfolk; by Katherine, daughter of William Sheres, of Ashwelthorpe, in that county, he had issue seven sons, of whom Edward, the
Some men would be wise, if they did
not think themselves so: for such a fond fourth son, was made serjeant-at-law, in September, 1580, and appointed a
opinion of one's self hinders us from Baron of the Exchequer, 23rd October, taking counsel of such as are qualified to 1584.
give it. “ To MY VARY FRYND, MR. FLOWER
DWE, THE ELDER, GEWE THIS.
“ Mr. Flowardue.--I undarstand by Is the extreme of all vices, an offence to Gruse yl you sent him in remembreance God, and an abhorrence to nature, the grief of yt you spake to me of consarnying ye of good men, and a pleasure only to devils goyng of sertayne shepe at Systerne, and and monsters divested of humanity. althow I forget to mowe my lorde therof before his departyng, he beyng sore trubeled wl wayty affares, ane Inot being altogether in guyit for his soden departyng, yet enough to move a wise man's compassion;
To see some persons set up for wits, is not wt. standyng, knowing your acostomid fryndshype towardes my Lordchip selves ridiculous, and lay out their sense,
because they take pains to make them and me, I nether may nor can deney you to appear a master-piece in buffoonery. yt requeste, in my lordes absence, of myn owne awtoryte, ye and yt war a gretar matter, as if any good occasyon may serve you, so trye me descyring you fur
BOCCACIO'S TOMB. dar yi you wyli mak salle of ye wolle, so some as ys possible, althowe you selí yt for vjs. the stone, or as you wolde sell the fourth canto of “ Childe Harold, of
The reproach cast by Lord Byron, in for your sealf, for my lorde so ernystly the people of Certaldo, the native place on requered me at his departyng to se thosse Boccacio, that the author's tomb had been pore men satysfyed as thowe yt had bene a matter depening uppon lyff, wherfore I Canon Cateni, who asserted that Bocca
uptorn” by bigots, was refuted by the force not to sustayne a lyttell losse therby cio's cenotaph had remained uninjured in to satisfy my lordes desyr, and so to send the Church of Certaldo. In a late publiyt möny to Grysses house to London, by cation by the Abbé Poveda, we have a Brydwell, to whom my lorde hath gewen full examination of this contested point. order for ye pamente therof, and thus ! It appears that there were two monuments, ende alwayes trobelyng you, wyssyng yt one consisting of a marble slab on the occasion may serve me to reqiyte you ;
pavement over Boccacio's untyll yt tyme I most pay you wt thankes another more sumptuous, raised against
grave, and and so to God I leve you. Frome Mr.
the latent wall of the church, by the PoHeydes, this vij of Auguste.
desta of Certaldo, 128 years after the “ Your assured duryng lyffe,
author's death. By a false interpretation AMY DUDDLEY."
of a law of Leopold in the last century, Retros. Rev
which prohibited having sepulchres in
the churches, the first was removed, toLaconics;
gether with the remains of Boccacio, conOR,
sisting of the skull and bones, and a Pithy Remarks and Maxims collected leaden tube, containing parchments, from various sources.
which last remained in the rector's possession. The slab having broke in the
removal, was thrown down in the adjoinTrue Wit consists in its incapacity of ing cloisters. Lately, a lady of the name being defined ; the truest wit also excites of Lenzoni, has collected these memothe least laughter.