teer regiment exorcising, your ludship." "Exorcising! we will see who is the best at that-go, Sir, and inform the regiment that, if it depart not instantly, I shall commit it to the custody of the tipstaff." It was really fine to see the legal but unmilitary speed with which the battalion filed off at the first report. It was a word of command they had no inclination to disobey, and readily did they dare the fury of the elements rather than that of his lordship; they knew him well, and would almost as soon have encountered Bonaparte himself.

"There was a horse cause, I recollect, to which a certain privy counsellor was a party, and who, as of right, took his seat upon the bench at the hearing, and there, (while his adversary's counsel told his tale) ventured a whisper of remark to the Chief- Justice. "If you again address me, Sir W-, I shall give you in custody of the marshal.' It was a settler for him, and, as it turned out, of his for he lost it, and most justly too." cause; -New Monthly Magazine.

In some of his Majesty's ships, a kind of weekly newspaper is written for and by the Cockpitonians, and generally read aloud by one of them after supper on Saturday nights. Unlike the public journalists, who take a decided political part, displaying so much brilliant genius and varied talents, as always to make any side on which they write appear the best, these sportive marine compositions insert all kinds of opinions and articles, though usually containing remarks on passing occurrences, &c. squibs on the different characters on board; and, as some persons may be curious to know what sailors can find to say or write about in the middle of the ocean, the following extracts from the Cockpit Chronicle may serve, though very imperfectly, to explain, as well as to note, some of the events of the first week of their passage to England.

THE COCK-PIT CHRONICLE.

Twenty Guineas Reward-Whereas, Patrick Donnavan, Esq. of the Marines was, on the night of the 23rd day of the New Moon, most inhumanly beset in the dark, by sundry ruffians in ruffles, while in bed. And whereas his person and bed-clothes were defiled by tar and other

liquid abominations, savouring strongly of the patent lather, used by the triturated villain known by the name of " Neptune's deputy barbarous barber :" and whereas, his person was also assailed by potatoes and other metallic substances, which he has sworn to before a justice of the peace, "whose knowledge is power." Twenty guineas reward is offered to any person who shall discover the perpetrator or perpetrators of this dark deed.

To be Sold by Auction, by Mr. Smudge. On the 30th Inst. all the valuable Marine Stores of Saunders, Crookshanks, and Co. consisting of a variegated assortment of Mariner's Articles, independently of two Bibles and a Horn Spoon.

For Particulars and Bills of Sale, apply on the Premises, No. 1, Wing Street, Orlop Place, where the Sale will commence precisely at 1 o'clock.

To Let.-A Chest of convenient dimensions and admirable arrangements, suitable to the most elegant economy of human life. It was formerly the property of Mr. Paddy, but is now in the possession of the advertiser, Mr. Fire Eater, who regrets that he cannot refer to his present tenants, Messrs. Moth and Cockroach, for its merits, as they have already done holy damage to his property.

It may be seen every Saturday, by applying to Mr. Peter, at his Wine Vaults.

A Card.

All you who wish your hair in trim,
Your beards and whiskers quick to grow,
Apply for Bear's Grease to Old Tim,
Or for Macassar to Boco.

At No. 6, Best Bower Row, Tier Street, where they sell every kind of perfume that is grateful to the olfactories, and all articles necessary to complete a genteel toilette. They beg leave particularly to recommend their Hair-brushes, which, being made of split porcupine quills, are not only grateful to the touch, but, in the end, exceedingly economical, from their capability of serving the dentistical purpose of tooth-picks.

To Unmarried Ladies. Give me the Seldoms before Sir John. —Mr. Gruff is desirous of entering the · matrimonial estate with any lady who has Seldoms sufficient to keep house. His desires are moderate-roast beef, plumpudding, and a pint of port daily, is all that he requires.

He wishes for something between old and young, and only objects to birds of fine plumage and sorrowful song.

A Card. Mr. Longshanks, Stay Maker to the House of Lords, begs leave to inform the Nobility and Gentry, and the rest of his particular friends, that, in addition to his extensive stock in trade, he has lately received an exquisite collection of the newest fashioned corsets and best cut" Dickeys," together with an invaluable packet of Petersham's, paddings, and puffs.

He particularly begs leave to call the attention of Mr. Boco, and the rest of the leaders of the Orlopean fashions thereto.

Tom Pipes hereby gives notice, that he will pay no more debts of his wife Chloe. as witness his mark X.

Dr. Diachylon may be consulted with the greatest secresy, at his house in Bay Street, Galley Square, from 10 to 11 in the morning, where and when he gives advice to the poor gratis. The doctor is desirous of obtaining a genteel, wellmannered youth as an apprentice, for, in the course of his operations, he is in the habit of cutting his finger, which is highly detrimental to the neatness of his practice.

N. B. "Perfumed pills for old ladies and lap-dogs, are made up without cost." "A quantity of soap to be disposed of, on pleasing terms."-Baltimore Gazette.

Run away.-A native of the Emerald Isle, whose ancestors played 66 Hurley on the Lakes of Killarney. His name was Tim when he escaped from the_goodly bogs, or as it was then written Timothy in the books of his creditors. His present crime however, and that for which it is supposed he absconded, is not that of fraud, but merely for mistaking the meaning of an Act called Habeas Corpus ; and also for having very freely indulged in a kind of national “ jerking spasm " in his right arm, said to be very prevalent with his ancestor Jerry, of heroic memory, and which on this occasion, proved to be a sort of levelling system, injurious alike to the interests and high standing character of his master, who takes this opportunity of informing the public, that when he left the said Green Island he had little in him or on him, but, nevertheless, Tim's master will handsomely reward any person who shall apprehend the aforesaid vagrant personage.

A great inducement for industrious investigation.-Lost, stolen, or strayed a cocked-hat, of elegant appearance, and long known in the Orlopean regions, ornamented with one dilapidated rosette

and sundry" cable tier hinks." Any person who will give information of the same, before next Sunday's muster, to Mr. Tague, shall be handsomely rewarded. And, as a further inducement, it is highly probable, that the said Hibernian gentleman, being desirous of maintaining his characteristic generosity, will give a bill of exchange on his domain, to the finder, i. e. if his factor or middleman has not disposed of it previous to any person's having the honour to gain the

aforesaid title of finder.

Multum in Parvo.

It is strongly reported that the king has, by accident, become acquainted with the blind-hookey system carried on in the upper house, and that the antique redcoated personage who is said to have lost in one night all the prize-money he gained during the war, is in deep disgrace at Court.

It is rumoured that a matrimonial affair is on the tapis, between the Honourable ap Shinkin, ap Shone, ap Morgan, ap Owen, Taffy, a descendant of Owen Glendower, and a Cambrian damsel, a relative of Caractacus.

This circumstance may account for the result of Mr. Taffy's lunar observations being out four degrees in longitude, as it was the distance between Luna and the Virgin Spike which he ought to have observed; but it is conjectured he mistook Venus for the latter star.

It is now firmly believed, that our Lad of the Fancy, Gliff, is a relation of Cribb from numerous gladiatorial emblems having been found in his possession.

The political intrigues of Smudge and the wary Scott, aided by the hot-headed Fire Eater and the mellifluous Paddy, ever seeking happiness in a row, together with the growling Gruff, anxious to be miserable, and supported by a powerful faction, have succeeded in deposing our amiable little Caterer, Peter the Great, who is observed to be pining from the effects of his late aërial elevation, and subsequent fall from authority in those submarine dominions, where he had so long and honourably presided.

Tim is in mourning for the loss of the grog bottle, the heart of which was broken during the rebellion, and that inoffensive weed, that nettle of the Cockpit, Muzzy, being either mad, miserable, or in love, now makes verses, and has sent a consolatory epistle to him, of which the following is a part :

66

Oh, weep not, weep not! o'er thy darling's doom;

Black Jack shall all his mellow in fluence shed,

And give thy wanting cheek its wonted bloom;

Thy nose its old concomitant sweet

red."

A young Boatswain's store-room was discovered, on Saturday last, in the starboard pocket of Thomas Pipes, containing marline, ratling stuff, points, sennit, twine, two foxes, a server, and a marlin spike; and regulations have been adopted to prevent any future embezzlement of His Majesty's stores.

A cartridge-paper hat was, on the same day, discovered under the dark envelope of an old black handkerchief on the pericranium of Mr. Wad, who, on being questioned on the subject, said, "he always wished to be light-headed in hot climates."

Mr. Chips has fallen under the suspicion of Government, his servant having been seen with canvass slippers soled with scupper leather.

The three worthies before mentioned, are respectfully warned against assembling together in the neighbourhood of the Magazine, as from the phosphoric influence of their prominent features, the safety of the community might be endangered.

Copy of an original letter written by a seaman, who was under sentence of death, for having in a fit of drunkenness, struck an officer.

DEAR JACK.-Drunkenness is the forerunner of mankind. I was in regard to that ere thing called licker when I struck

tried, and am to be hanged. So no more at present from your old shipmate,

the officer of the watch. I have been

JERRY

We stated in our last number, that Mr. Gleaner, alias Mr. Nipcheese, was, in one instance, accused of mistaking his pocket for his mouth. We are the authority of the accuser to apologize to that gentleman, as his intention was merely to remark that there were many unsentimental Gleaners in his (Mr. Nipcheese's) profession.

We calculate, that the " ginwine" intelligence, which, upon "inquerry," we received from the American ship, last Tuesday, viz:-" That the Flushing Fleet had surrendered, and that they guessed many of them were already in the Downs," should be reckoned among the rest of the " pretty particular, considerable" bucket-fuls of Yankee phenomena caught during the cruize.

Strange Significations of Letters Words, and Sentences. Modesty-A backwardness in coming forward.

"Nervous-A cloak under which physicians hide their ignorance."

Breaking your Mind-Speaking it. Gentleman-A stiff-necked personage well versed in monosyllables and the three cuts, "celestial,' "terrestrial," and "direct" together with the inimitable lisp, and irresistable "How doo! Damn me! 'Pon honour!" and the rest of the Corinthian ejaculations.

D.D.-Dismal Dunce; one knowing how to put the Pope in purgatory.

M.D.-Male Demon; a person enveloped in a nervous cloak spangled with blue pills.

L.L.D.-Legal Legerdemain Delayer; also, Lurking Litigious Delinquent. M.P.-Mere Post.

Soldier-A satanic servant, a mindless beau, one clad in red and lace, alias a fop

Sailor-A silly soul, one who wears blue raiment, alias a fool.

Speaking through the Nose-viz. when it is stopped.-The Night Watch.

Elustrations of History.

ST. GEORGE'S DAY IN THE TIME OF
EDWARD III.

THE learned Joshua Barnes in his history of Edward III, gives the following account of the celebrating of St. George's Day at Windsor. "In the beginning of this year (1358) King Edward issued forth his royal proclamation throughout all England, that all Knights, Strangers, from any part of the world, who had a mind to come to the feast of St. George, to be solemnly held by him on the 23rd of April at Windsor, should have his letters of safe conduct to pass and repass the realm at their pleasure, for the space of three weeks without the least impediment or danger, there to partake every one according to his degree and merit of those honours and prizes which attended the princely exercise of Jousts and Tournaments. And this high feast the King held in the greatest splendour imaginable, beyond all that he had ever done before; for the honour chiefly of the French King, and others of the nobility of France. To these solemn jousts came the Duke of Brabant, Sir Frank Van Hall, Sir Henry Eam of Flanders, and many great Lords and Knights of Álmain, Gascoigne, Scotland, and other countries. The Queen of Scotland also, and many other great ladies, as weli of England as of other nations came to Windsor, to this feast in their gayest and richest apparel. The pomp and magnificence of this famous

entertainment, set forth as well as King Edward's greatness, as any other grandeur of state whatsoever, but King John, (then prisoner in England to Edward) who expected by an high ransom to pay something toward these vast profusions, said merrily, that he never saw nor knew such royal shews and feastings, without some after reckoning for gold and sil

zer.

CUSTOMS OF VARIOUS COUNTRIES, (No. XVI.)

MAY FESTIVITIES.

SPANISH CUSTOM OF ELECTING A MAY
QUEEN.

IN Times Telescope for 1824, is given the following pleasing account of the Spanish custom of electing a May Queen, from among the country belles, which is still practised in some parts of Spain. The name of Maia, is given to the handsomest lass of the village, who, decorated with garlands of flowers, leads the dances in which the young people spend the day, shows how little that ceremony has varied since the time of the Romans. The villagers in other provinces, declare their love by planting during the preceeding night, a large bough or a sapling, decked with flowers, before the doors of their As most of the ancient sweet-hearts.

church festivals were contrived as substitutes for the pagan rites, which the christian priesthood could not otherwise eradicate, there are still some remnants of the sanctified May-pole in the little crosses, which the children ornament with flowers, and place upon tables, holding as many lighted tapers as from the contributions of their friends, they can afford to buy.

MAY DAY IN FRANCE.

On the night preceding the 1st of May. it is the custom to place branches of green boughs at the doors or windows of females or persons of distinction; lovers, above all, seize this opportunity of decorating the windows of their mistresses, and sometimes take up a young tree, ornament it with ribands, and re-plant it by the side of the door, a species of gallantry as agreeable to the planter, as it is to her for whom the tree is planted. Henry II. wish ing to recompense the clerks of the Bazoche for their good services, in quelling an insurrection in Guienne, offered them money, but they would accept only the permission granted them by the King, of cutting in the royal woods such trees as they might choose for the planting of May, a privilege which existed at the commencement of the French Revolution.-Ibid 1828

MAY CUSTOM AT BONNEVAL.

On the first day of May, long before sun-rise, the young men in every village are accustomed to go into the neighbouring woods to cut the branches of such trees as are covered with foliage ;-On their return to the town, they place before every house, in a conspicuous situation, as many branches as there are daughters living there. When there are only young children, the boughs are but small, and when the girls are marriageable they are commonly larger and finer than in other places. If this village fête takes place on a working day, the young people meet together on the following Sunday, to dance the May, which is done in the following manner: one of the company carries a large May or bough, consisting of several branches, which are covered with ribands, the others follow with violins, drums, and such other musical instruments, as they can procure, they then walk through the streets, stopping at the door of every house over which any May has been placed, and commence a serenade, and a dance, usually receiving some money, which serves to defray their expenses.-Ibid.

CORNISH MAY CUSTOM.

IN Hitchin's history of Cornwall, an account is given of a singular species of festivity, observed at Padstow in Cornwall, it is called the Hobby-horse, from canvas being extended over hoops, and painted to resemble a horse. Being carried through the streets, men, women, and children, flock round it, when they proceed to a place about a quarter of a mile distant called Traitor's pool, here the hobby horse is always supposed to drink, after the head has been dipped into the water, it is instantly taken up, and the mud and the water are sprinkled on the spectators, affording great diversion to all present. The actors in this scene on returning home sing a particular song, which is supposed to commemorate the event that gave rise to the hobby-horse festivity.

Count of Malafra, Knight Santiago, and Alcantara." I am very sorry," replied the landlord, shutting the window:but I have not room enough in my house for all those gentlemen you have mentioned."

DIDEROT AND SHAKSPEARE.

Diderot speaking one day to Shakspeare with great emphasis and praise before Voltaire, the latter said, “And can you indeed prefer a Virgil to Racine, a monster utterly destitute of taste? I should as soon think of abandoniug the Apollo Belvidere for the St. Christopher of Notre Dame!" Diderot paused a moment, and replied: "But what would you say, if you saw the huge figure of St. Christopher on his legs, moving towards you in the street with that colossal statue?" Voltaire could make no reply.-London Weekly Review.

LOVE OF DUTY.

An anecdote is related of a soldier during the inundation of St. Petersburgh, of 1796, illustrative of a strong sense of duty. He was on sentry at the palace, and the water had reached to his knees, when the Empress, who saw him from a window, commanded him to retire. This however, he refused to do, although he was aware that it was the Empress who spoke to him; observing to her that he could not quit his post unless the sergeant sent another to relieve him.

PUNS.

W